Big Secret!

[Cathy]

I'm 15 and I've been with my bf for 5 months now and its great. I absolutely love him n I even lost it 2 him. Only problem is my parents don't kno. My parents think I'm 2 young 4 a bf & I'm 2 scared 2 tell them. Wat shud I do?

[Dani_x]

i used to be scared/worried about telling my parents- expecially my mum, when i had bf's and always kept it secret but then i realised it would be easier if they new and then i wouldnt have to keep lieing to them and sneeking around. i was expecting at least my mum would go mad but they where both totly fine about it and now my dads always asking when he's coming over again. Proberly best not to tell him you've slept with him tho, my mum found out about me sleeping with my bf from a post i posted on here she wasnt happy at first but she had to learn to accept it seeing as she couldnt do anything with me being 16.
if you dont want to tell them to their face that you have a bf maybe text one of them telling them? or fetch him home as a mate at first?

[Innamorata]

I don't think you're too young to have a boyfriend but you are too young to be having sex. Talk to your parents about why they think you're too young to be dating, and see if you can't come to a compromise.

[Gardens]

If sex happens, it happens. Innamorata, I see where you are coming from, but who's to say when a person can and cant have sex? If a person is mature enough to handle that kind of a choice, and possible repurcussions, then they might as well, if for the right reasons...and she obviously loves him.

Well Cathy, do you have a decent enough relationship to where you can tell them most anything? If so, start with sitting them down, and telling them that you feel you are able to handle a relationship. You might say "Mom, Dad, I am in a relationship with (whomever he is) and have been for 5 months. I think that that shows I'm capable of a long term relationship. I feel ready, you know, to be in a relationship like that. Plus I really really love him, and he feels the same way. I would so appreciate it if you'd support me in that. It means a lot." Get passed that barrier first before you tell them about you and him having sex. Also, before you start talking, make sure you ask them if they would be willing to let you speak without any interruptions. Hope it helps in some way ;)

[Brittany]

I don't think you're too young to have a boyfriend but you are too young to be having sex. Talk to your parents about why they think you're too young to be dating, and see if you can't come to a compromise.


If sex happens, it happens. Innamorata, I see where you are coming from, but who's to say when a person can and cant have sex? If a person is mature enough to handle that kind of a choice, and possible repurcussions, then they might as well, if for the right reasons...and she obviously loves him.

Innamorata was just stating her opinion, and quite frankly shes right. You might have a valid fight but... now a days, sex isnt pure anymore. Its not between married lovers. Its nothing! Sex is happening starting at ages 13 and maybe younger! Kids are acting like its a game. A sport. No! There are major consequence's following that action! Its not meant to happen to a 15 year old girl! What is the world coming to that sex is "ok" to some people at this age!!! Your not even in high school yet havent even learned how to speak your own language fluently, you havnt even stepped into the real WORLD at that age!!! No idea of the real major problems with STD'S and AIDS!!! No idea!!! And yes she might love him but WAIT!!! Does that word mean anything to anyone anymore? Shes a little girl for Christs sake!!! Its not for the right reason at that age. NOT for any reason!!! You cant even have a JOB or DRIVE at 15... and you think its ok for her to have sex. Im sorry but I have to disagree. Where will she 5 years from now? I bet you all the money in the world she will be with a different man... And she will have to explain to him her foolish mistake, as to why the man that wants to marry her will not be able take that "no longer" precious thing called virginity...

How could you say or even think its ok to lay down at that age and take that...
What are you saying? How will YOUR kids turn out...

And don't get me wrong Im not being mean to you... Im just shocked someone could think that's perfectly ok...

[Innamorata]

Exactly, it's illegal and it shouldn't be happening, whether or not she thinks she's mature enough to be doing it.


Innamorata was just stating her opinion, and quite frankly shes right. You might have a valid fight but... now a days, sex isnt pure anymore. Its not between married lovers. Its nothing! Sex is happening starting at ages 13 and maybe younger! Kids are acting like its a game. A sport. No! There are major consequence's following that action! Its not meant to happen to a 15 year old girl! What is the world coming to that sex is "ok" to some people at this age!!! Your not even in high school yet havent even learned how to speak your own language fluently, you havnt even stepped into the real WORLD at that age!!! No idea of the real major problems with STD'S and AIDS!!! No idea!!! And yes she might love him but WAIT!!! Does that word mean anything to anyone anymore? Shes a little girl for Christs sake!!! Its not for the right reason at that age. NOT for any reason!!! You cant even have a JOB or DRIVE at 15... and you think its ok for her to have sex. Im sorry but I have to disagree. Where will she 5 years from now? I bet you all the money in the world she will be with a different man... And she will have to explain to him her foolish mistake, as to why the man that wants to marry her will not be able take that "no longer" precious thing called virginity...

How could you say or even think its ok to lay down at that age and take that...
What are you saying? How will YOUR kids turn out...

And don't get me wrong Im not being mean to you... Im just shocked someone could think that's perfectly ok...

[God.]

If sex happens, it happens. Innamorata, I see where you are coming from, but who's to say when a person can and cant have sex?

The law.

[Innamorata]

:owned:


The law.

[God.]

:owned:

:ninja*:

[Cathy]

Well I hav a great relationship wit ma dad but not ma mom. That's who I'm more scared about tellin cuz I also care about her opinion. And yes I understand dat I'm 2 young but Its sumthin I won't regret. Not all teens are tha same. I didn't do it 4 tha hell of it I did it cuz I love him and I trusted him enuf 2 do it.

[((_brittany_))]

Well i was in the same situation man my mum kinda like my bf when i first told her but on the other hand my dad hated him cuz the way he dressed my dad he was a "thug" lol well my mum first heard that i slept with my boyfriend at the doctors when she wanted to take me to the Gyn. but i told the doctor that i only did it once. so they didnt recommend me goin there. well my dad and my mum split now so my bf and my mum have a better relationship.

[Gardens]

I didn't do it 4 tha hell of it I did it cuz I love him and I trusted him enuf 2 do it.

Hmmm.....SEE??? She loves him. She didn't do it just to do it. I don't think she's asking to be patronized either. Well, maybe in England they have a law, but in the states they dont. And no, I DO NOT and NEVER SAID that I agree with random sex. I know I wouldn't just go and have random sex. I do however think that two people in love or who have feelings toward each other have the right to do that, of course if they are mature enough. I dont think 13 year olds or even 14 year olds should be having sex. If there are two 15 year olds in a relationship, both equally immature about the topic, then they shouldnt be doing it. But it's their choice. It's not up to me to tell them if they are wrong or not. They'll learn through their own actions. Clearly Cathy, you love him, and you dont feel its wrong. Then its not. But I wouldnt go tell your parents about it just yet.

And who says sex isn't pure anymore? I'm sure there are plenty of people who have pure sex. There always was, is, and will be people who have pure sex, and people who have casual sex. It's a fact. And people break the law all the time. Like Cathy said, not all teens are the same. Some are ready for it, and some aren't. Why place judgments on people's actions? Things aren't good or bad, right or wrong; they just are.

:D

[Innamorata]

Oh I'm sorry, I thought they had laws in America. I didn't realise that anyone of any age could do anything.

[Gardens]

Oh I'm sorry, I thought they had laws in America. I didn't realise that anyone of any age could do anything.

Well, they do have laws pertaining to the issue of sex. For example, if you are over 18, you can't have sex with a minor.

Now, just look at all the previous posts. How do you think Cathy feels? She's coming here for help, not for opinions. I think if a person is asking for help, give them help, not your opinion on what they are or aren't doing. And I'm not aiming this only at you Innamorata, I can see and understand your point. It goes for everyone. She doesn't want to hear she's wrong for what she's doing. She just wants help. So instead of making this thread a whole huge argument over "whats right" it should get back to its original purpose: helping out someone who needs it.

[Innamorata]

Actually in my first post I offered help. I then mentioned the illegal thing because it is illegal and I doubt her parents want to know she's doing something against the law. I also think she should stop until she's legal.

[Gardens]

Yes, I know. But Brittany was giving her ALL on the matter.....Just read that post youll see what I mean. I understand the fact that its illegal, but thats in England. I'm pretty sure she lives in America, where they can't do anything about it. I totally understand your view though, Innamorata. And I can see that Brittany's main concern with young teens and sex these days is safety. But one person can't control the rest of the world's doings. Thats why I choose not to place judgements on others' actions. We're all growing and learning, and sometimes we stop for help along the way. No one is perfect. We all have things that others may view as wrong. I'm bi, and people view that as against god, and nature.

Cathy: Why not go to your dad first, and talk to him? He seems like he'd be more receptive than your mom. See what happens. If you are still confused about something, just ask.

[Brittany]

I was just being honest... Sorry if you got offended. But Its just how I feel.
And your right we are growing and learning, and its a learning experience,
and I know I cant control the world or the people in it. By no means am
I trying to. And its not just safety... Its age. But its her choice, she might
end up marrying him. I was just shocked at your words and how you phrased it.
Thats all. If she loves him. Im glad. I hope they get marryed and live together
happily forever.

[Gardens]

I know issues like this are a big concern for some. Everyone lives by their own standards. Whats right for some isn't right for others. It's all good. Oh, I wasn't offended. I completely understand.
;)

[Brittany]

I have a strong opinion on somethings. >.<
Im glad you understand. No hard feelings. :D