Wandering Soul
July 18th '05, 06:57 PM
(please note im am not offenting anyone on a religous, sexual or mental level. just trying for laughs)
God told St. Peter (the dude who takes care of the front gate of heaven) that he was to allow only 1/3 of the people in today. At about that moment three guys walked up and asked for admission. St peter thought well i'll let the one with the most horrible death in So he asked how they died.
The first one said "Well sir, I had been expecting my wife had been cheating on me for the past month. so i tried to catch her. I walked in today and found her naked in her room waiting for someone. I searched the house and found a guy hanging from our balcony of our 3rd story apartment. So i started STOMPING ON HIS FINGERS. AND STOMPED AND STOMPED AND STOMPED. BUT HE WOULDNT LET GO. so i got a hammer AND POUNDED POUNDED AND POUNDED. until he let got. BUT HE LANDED IN THE BUSHES AND WAS STILL ALIVE. SO I WENT AND GOT MY REFRIGETOR AND DROPPED IT ON TOP OF HIM. however it was leaking and i slipped and was impaled on the fence below.
The second guy said, "well i woke up this morning on was doing my daily exercises naked on my blacony of my 7th story apartment. i slipped off and feel until i finally got lucky and grabbed the balcony of a 2nd stoy apartmen. however this crazy fuckin idoit." he gestures at the first guy "started stomping on my hands. when i wouldn't let go he got a hammer. and i finally let go after all my fingers had been broken. however i landed in some bush and thought damn am i lucky. then i noticed it getting dark looked up and saw a fridge. then i was here."
The thrid guy came up and was lie "okay Imagine yourself naked in a fridge...
I think you guys can guess what that means.
God told St. Peter (the dude who takes care of the front gate of heaven) that he was to allow only 1/3 of the people in today. At about that moment three guys walked up and asked for admission. St peter thought well i'll let the one with the most horrible death in So he asked how they died.
The first one said "Well sir, I had been expecting my wife had been cheating on me for the past month. so i tried to catch her. I walked in today and found her naked in her room waiting for someone. I searched the house and found a guy hanging from our balcony of our 3rd story apartment. So i started STOMPING ON HIS FINGERS. AND STOMPED AND STOMPED AND STOMPED. BUT HE WOULDNT LET GO. so i got a hammer AND POUNDED POUNDED AND POUNDED. until he let got. BUT HE LANDED IN THE BUSHES AND WAS STILL ALIVE. SO I WENT AND GOT MY REFRIGETOR AND DROPPED IT ON TOP OF HIM. however it was leaking and i slipped and was impaled on the fence below.
The second guy said, "well i woke up this morning on was doing my daily exercises naked on my blacony of my 7th story apartment. i slipped off and feel until i finally got lucky and grabbed the balcony of a 2nd stoy apartmen. however this crazy fuckin idoit." he gestures at the first guy "started stomping on my hands. when i wouldn't let go he got a hammer. and i finally let go after all my fingers had been broken. however i landed in some bush and thought damn am i lucky. then i noticed it getting dark looked up and saw a fridge. then i was here."
The thrid guy came up and was lie "okay Imagine yourself naked in a fridge...
I think you guys can guess what that means.