I felt used... did I do the right thing...

[saraharms1]

Okay... see a friend of mine who I've been friends with for two years now (I'll call her A) A doesn't exactly have an eazy life... her mom is a whore and her dad is just retarded. Neither give her the attention she needs, and are always arguing. I've been there for her through everything. She's always been able to confide in me because she knows I've been through the same and loads more. We've been pretty close friends and I've just always been there for her. She never had the chance to really help me out at all because I never allowed anyone to help me... I take care of myself and those around me... this was one thing that always annoyed her about me. Well this year she went out with this guy (I'll just call him J) J and I became good friends because he was dating A who was my best friend. I started getting a slight crush on him while they were dating but felt guilty for it and just ignored it. After a few weeks A started getting annoyed with him... She eventually broke up with him. It wasn't till then that I my feelings for J surfaced again. It was like my insides were leaping for joy (corny I know but true) well for several weeks I was in a battle with myself because I like J and wanted to date him but he was A's ex... so he was off limits. I decided I'd talk to A about it and she told me she okay with it so we dated. Long story short while we were dating she started distancing her self and i kept trying to hold on and figure out wat was going on and after a month of J and I dating she told me she still had feeling for him. I was heartbroken and painfully I broke up with J... then got the two of them back together... they broke up again. I was annoyed and desided to stay away from J because I didn't want to screw up a friendship but I can't get him off my mind. I was soo f-ing annoyed with her because we talked about it and she said that she didn't want us dating cuz she thought he'd take me away from her and blah blah blah... for the past two months I've tried to ignore my feelings... but every day and every night he is seriously the first and last thing through my mind...

soooo.... (and I'm sorry this is so long) feeling used... l told her screw it... I don't care what she says... I told her if she couldn't allow me this bit of happiness then that's her problem... we just won't be friends...

I know its retarded to end a friendship over a guy but she hasn't talked to in two weeks now... and then she dragged her mother into it who called my mother and turned it into a huge thing... I'm soooo pissed but so hurt at the same time... I don't want to talk to her cuz I'm afraid I'll lose my temper... but did I do the right thing?

[Deimos]

Friendship, in my opinion, is more important.
Once you're older and out of school, you're really going to value the few friends you manage to keep, rather than a boy I very much doubt you'll be with for the next 6+ years.

In saying that, she has to allow you some happiness, so don't allow her to pull the same stunt for other stuff, or she may just keep doing it.

[iaxa]

hmms. to wreck i friendships over somethign as stupid as a guy seems a bit stupid dont ya think. i just be friends together in a trio.

[saraharms1]

Shes making it a huge thing tho... I know I'm 14... which is why I tried just shoving J out of my mind... cuz I know I'm young there are gonna be a lot more guys... but shes making a huge thing out of this... all because she thinks that he's gonna take me away from her... I've told her thats not gonna happen... and I've been patient with her... and I've tried... I really have.. but I just can't get over him... When him and I were together the first time she was dating someone else. Even tho she was she still shut me out and ignored me and was real bitchy towards me and J... I was angry with myself for a while for not seeing that she still liked him and I did all I could to make it better and then she treated the sacrifice I made for her like shit... She wanted to go back out with him and i made it happen even tho it killed me inside... I could handle them dating cuz I wanted them happy. If they were happy I was happy, but then she dumped him and said I pushed her into things and bunch of other shit when I was the one there by her side and giving her ideas and saying no to J every time he asked me back out. I was there and I didn't push anything. SHe just wanted to blame me.

I know its stupid to lose a friendship over a guy. Which is why the past two months I've just been friends with J... but the thing is... J is more than just a guy to me. Which is why I went for it. She yelled at me and said "How could you do this when you know I hate him"... I'm at a lose of what to do... My mom doesn't want me to talk to her because she had dragged her mom into it and started a huge ordeal and like I said before I know I'll lose my temper with her if I do talk to her... cuz in my oppinion at the moment she is being a selfish bitch... and I'm not the only one who thinks so...

[Deimos]

Well for me, if someone started acting like that, I'd drop them pretty damn quick.

But if you actually want to keep her, the guy is not worth losing her over.
You're thinking short-term, he'll be out of your life soon enough.