My shitty life...broken down

[Leon]

Right, I have loads of stuff to get off my chest so bear with me, sorry if it's a long read.
Anyone who reads all of this, you rock! And I'm very grateful for your time, it means a great deal to me:)

Ok so basically my life is slowly slipping downhill and seems to be picking up other shit on the way and speeding up as it goes.
I'll start with college, I hate the fucking place, I have no idea why I even bother going anymore. I'm failing my subjects as I'll explain in a minute. I have no intention of going to university, even if i did I can't go next year cos of my chemistry. I simply have no motivation whatsoever to go to college, I don't think that helps. I have no idea whatsoever of what I want to do as a career, therefore uni would be pointless, plus I wouldn't be able to do the work as I'm struggling at college as it is.
So I'm doing my A-levels, second year Maths and ICT of which I am going to fail both, it's already a foregone conclusion. Last year in those I picked up a D and E respectively, and I haven't even got a clue on half of this year's work. On my recent ICT coursework I scored about 25/120, which is worth about half of my second year A-Level grade.
I'm doing first year Chemistry, meaning if I want to finish that I will have to go back to that dreaded place a couple of days a week for the whole of next year just to finish that stupid course off, of which I'm already only working at a grade D or so, and that's from the first topic on stuff I already knew, so I guess that's headed the same way as the other subjects.
My friends try to help me at college for which I am grateful, but I simply can't focus on the work anymore, the place just annoys the hell out of me. I might follow Shane's example and just quit, I've been considering it for a while now already, I was always gonna wait til I had a job first if I did though, which I now do have. If I fail either of my maths or ICT this year I'm just gonna leave the place.

This would leave me with just my new job, which at the minute seems to be the only alright thing going for me. My parents have been lending me money for college and stuff til I got a job, but really I think they're just glad that I can pay for myself now. The only thing they don't have a go at me for now anyway.
I seem to constantly fall out with my parents over every single littlest thing nowadays, I argue with my Dad within 30 seconds of him walking in the house every night. My mum has enough arguments with me too but she is ok half the time. I respect my parents for everything they have done for me in my life but I really wish sometimes I could fucking move out, but I can't afford it, which sucks. I would take my bro with me, he dosn't deserve all the shit I get when he reaches my age.

My parents aren't the only ones I fall out with, I seem to be annoying/upsetting people left, right and centre lately. I somehow fall out with someone over nothing way too much, and I am constantly in arguments sometimes when this happens. I never try and cause arguments with people, half the shit some people say to me is bullshit and it just offends me more than anything. Then there are the friends who have lately become twats, who you fall out with you argue then next time they see you, nothing happened, leaving the opportunity for it to all happen again...which eventually it will.
I don't like confrontations, and I don't like upsetting my friends, I try to go out of my way and be generous to my friends, anyone who knows me fully will tell you this.
I'll tell you what I did last night, I went to a party with some mates, came home, told one of my mates he could stay at mine, cos at his he wouldn't get proper sleep and wanted to get up nice n early for work this morning, then when we got dropped at home, we went and re-met up with some people from the party, some of which I haven't seen for months on end. I ended up walking home a long time friend who lived just over a mile away at 2am, and I offered to do it, she was upset and a bit drunk. She was eternally grateful, because she was a friend from school, spent nearly every day for 5 years talking to me, if I did that to some of my current friends I'd probably just get a 'thanks, bye'.
In return I get fuck all off some of them. Not like I'm expecting them to fucking bow down to me when I enter a room, just be fucking alright with me.

Anyway so yeah I've started work, one problem, I work with a girl I like. I met her properly at college through a mate about 3 months ago now, and have liked her ever since. Then around a month and a half ago she said there were jobs available where she worked knowing I was job hunting, so I applied and got the job. However she found out that I might like her off the mate that introduced us, I did then tell her myself, exactly how I felt. She kinda just took it and had no reply really, apart from she just made one comment that she thought it might not work (this was just considering I was starting work that very week, so she meant like working together). However she did say I'll let you know if I change how I feel. I don't know what to think, I mean this was about 3 weeks ago now. We are perfectly good friends and everything and everything now just seems like it was before I told her. I feel like I've made a mistake telling her even though she said it was nice to know and she was really impressed. I have no idea what to do about it now, whether to just leave it or bring the issue back up with her, because everything is going ok at work, and I don't really see her that much there anwyay.

Due to probably all of this I have had sleeping problems for around 2 months now, some nights I simply can't fall asleep, other nights I get a few hours. I hardly ever get 7 hours sleep, not because I don't have the time, purely because I just can't fall asleep.

I am now also paranoid about some of this stuff thinking constantly 'if i say this will it upset them' I am then apologising for what I say, I just feel son confused by it all. I also have started thinking 'what is the point of this?' everytime I do something, it's making me think whether there is actually something worth living for.

Anyway, I literally could go on forever, but that covers most of my current problems, thanks for reading if you did, it really means a lot to me. :)
My head is currently all over the place and I just don't see a solution to any of it.

If at any point over the last month I've argued with you or thought you've accused me of something or anything like that, I'm sorry, I hope you can understand why now.

Fucking hell the irony, I'm supposed to be a bloody Agony Uncle.

[Bob!]

I'll check back tomorrow for a full read when I'm more awake but as to ya last line well everyone has problems dude, ya wa recruited as recognition for ya help, and the potential for the position which we can see in ya and also, sometimes the best people to give advice on problems are the ones who have them/have been through them themselves so don't worry bout that part.

As to the rest well ya fully welcome here and do bugger all wrong, only positive contributions, hope it all goes well. :)

[Brokine]

Wow....I wish I could help you, really. I guess the best thing I could suggest is talk to your parents of how you feel and maybe they can understand better. As for the girl you like at work, ask her how she feels about you to see...well you know. College isn't for everyone but I say stick with it till you have a carrer idea since most good careers revolve around college. I hoped I helped a little bit.

[tf_arl_90]

Pressure from every direction? Not knowing exactly where to start? Sounds a bit like where I am atm. Thinking about it depresses me, so lately I've just been picking things -- anything -- to do. I try not to dwell on it too much, and just do whatever and hope it's good enough.

College isn't for everyone and if it's really getting you down perhaps you should see a counselor that could advise you in a new direction you should take, or give you help on how to endure the rest of term without beating your head in too much. Or maybe alter your study habits if you're having difficulty with the tests and such.

As for the arguments you're having with your parents, I feel your pain there. I'm generally pretty well-tempered at home, but lately I've just been the most grouchy person I could have ever imagined myself being. And it's so frustrating because I always end up regretting my behavior later, whether it's me or my mother who started the argument. Sometimes it's no one's "fault" it's just two people who cannot get along for that brief moment in time, for whatever reason. And I also keep telling myself when I move out, it'll be better. And it probably will.

Anyway, I know that I don't know you too well, but I do see you as the type to go out of your way to be helpful, and its an admirable trait. Usually the most thoughtful gestures are the ones that are the most overlooked among friends. And while you might not exactly *expect* anything in return, it would be nice to get a little appreciation every now and then, right? Keep doing what you're doing because it will eventually be noticed by someone.

So although I don't have much quality advice, I can say that I understand and relate to a lot of what you've said. Sometimes this can be enough for me to make me feel just a little bit better, and I hope that's the case for you too.

[Rashella]

Quit college if it is making you miserable. You only live once, if it upsets you, its not worth it. GCSE's are good enough for most jobs.

This sounds like the main thing making you miserable. If you hate it, its going to make you unhappy (obviously) and it sounds like its causing stress. Maybe you could save up money from work and go away for a weekend or something, with friends or your brother? Or even your mum and dad.

On that subject everyone fights with there parents, i had a blazing row with my mum on thursday and havent spoken to her since, and im not even in a bad mood recently like you said you are. You being in a ratty mood because of all this stress is going to cause arguements. Maybe taking it easy and doing something you enjoy will help to make you a happy person and more umm.. diplomatic?

The girl you mentioned said she would let you know and she will, so try not to worry about her. I also vaguely remember in another thread you mentioned you liked playing football when your grieving, maybe it could work in this situation too, plus it could make you tired so your more likely to sleep.

[Sponge'K'nob]

Right firstly I havn't read anyone elses replys yet so I am sorry if I repeat anything.

Firstly Leon long threads are good, get more info so don't worry about it.

If you hate college and are failing it then why exactly are you there? Won't it be a lot easier and a lot off your chest if you left and got a job.
There is plenty of places that want jobs this time of year in our area.
What are you wanting to do?
So you have deffinately gone past Uni...don't wanna go there, I don't blame you.
Have a look round some job ideas and get yourself out there!

I know what you mean about college work and so forth, I am thinking off quitting aswel..but I won't go into that.
Don't wait 'til you have a job, if you want to quit, do it. Then it will make you want to get a job more.
That's if you are sure you want to quit....it's not too late to pick up some marks and do well.

Where do you work?
Arguing with parents is very normal, I can't name one person that isn't having a bad time with their parents right now.
How old is your bro?
Yeah I wouldn't recomment moving out, you really should save up first.

About your 'twat friends' If they are twats...why exactly are they your friends?

About the girl..just talk to her and whatever, if anything happens it happends.
Sleeping...you taking any tablets for this? You should..at least to get one night good sleep.
there is actually something worth living for.

You can talk to me about this whenever on MSN or whatever if you like, I am always willing to listen.
Don't worry about the agony uncle thing.
Hell you don't wanna know what i'm going through....we all have issues.
x

[Shane]

I'm stuck in the same kind of rut so I know how you feel but I can't really offer any advice. if you need to talk about anything else, in any more detail, hit me up.

[HMK]

I really feel sorry you for what you're going through. It happens to all of us at one point of our lives.

First of all, you need to get back on track. Focus on your academics, above anything else, or else it would just be merely wasting money at the moment. See if you can re-take the classes, or talk to your guidance counselors and ask them what your options are. You find college to be dreadful, is it because of the people? Are you not socially fitting in? I would recommend not dropping out, but then again it's your choice.

Your parents might be insecure about your actions or there are differences of opinion between you and them. Maybe you could talk to your parents sincerely about what's happening to you, which might work out. You should try and understand what your dad is arguing about, get in his shoes and see why he's upset. If too much of arguing continues, it might affect your mental health. If this doesn't help you at all, you should just endure it, and wait for the opportunity to move out.

About your friends, you should take them as who they are. Focusing on their better qualities will help cut down the annoyance and arguments, nobody is perfect. Evidently, you are stressed, take a break, and try seeing the brighter side of life. You should ignore your "twat" friends if they are confronting, I don't think you should consider them to be friends at all. There is nothing wrong with you; it's the pressure that's making your perception distorted.

The reason why you can't sleep is because all the thoughts come back to you. It's almost impossible to sleep when you're stressed. Try taking your mind off all the tension; it's not that hard, you just need to switch off your brain. Don't lie in bed when you can't sleep, try doing something else to relax your mind, and then come back to sleep when you're tired.

Now, you are feeling insecure about the things you say. You need some self-confidence to bring things back together. Don't worry; it happens to the best of us. I hope this helps you and makes you feel a little bit better.

[PrincessAlice]

if it helps at all... i went really low before

had no job
no money
no boyfriend (but was lusting over a guy very badly)
was having ago at everybody (i was the moodiest bitch you'll ever have met)
argueing ALOT with my parents
and of course i thought i hadn't done anything wrong

but then weirdly everything went from one extreme to another.... look at me now i've got the guy, a job, a place at college in september and asmuch money as i need...

i didn't say all that to brag or anything i'm saying it to tell you life is like a rollercoaster *starts singing* it really is :) things go bad but they always somehow get a littlebit better

your a lovely chappy so i hope things get better for you :) focus on how to make things better not on how shit everything is... FOCUS ON HOW EXCITED YOU ARE TO BE GOING TO LEEDS FEST

lots of hugglies to you
you are indeed THE sex
xxxx

[Leon]

Ok so this is easier than loads of quotes and making a post a mile long.

Bob: Cheers and thanks, I'm glad people see me as a contributor :) Hope you get to read it properly at some point.

Brokine: Thanks, it did help. :)

Tf-arl: Thanks, I might go have a word with the careers advisors at college. Same here on the arguments, can be nobody's fault but the littlest things develop into a full blown argument involving the whole family, everyone versus yourself somehow....happens way too often too.
Thanks for saying I'm helpful and stuff, and no I don't expect anything in return, or ask for antyhing, but getting some gratitude occasionally is always nice, that's all I want. Even it's just as simple as one person saying thanks for the littlest thing every so often.
And your advice was good, don't doubt yourself:)

Rashella: Thanks, I'm still considering what to do about college.
I might just do that, go away for a weekend or something, would really help I think, need some money first.
Yes everyone argues with their parents, but not everyone does practically every time they see them and over the stupidest things, even sometimes get dragged into ones not involving yourself. (and what I said to tf_arl)
I played football 2 days in a row, Tuesday and Wednesday last week, afterwards on Wednesday went to a mates, watched Man Utd match, then cricket, went home at 2am, and wasn't tired one single bit, I seem to be anti-sleep.

Kaye: Thanks, but I seem to think you didn't read my thread fully or skimmed through it from some stuff you say.
I have a job, at Wickes, awaiting my first paycheck in about a week. As for a career job, I have no idea really what I want to do long term, as I said in my thread...and no uni is out of the question pretty much. As for my parents, see above replies.
My bro is 13, was his bday on the 2nd, another big argument spoiled that for him :(
And I can afford to move out yet anyway.
I have now edited it and it should have said my friends have become twats lately, I'm not gonna give up friendships of around 13/14 years for some of them over a few fallouts in the last few weeks.
No I'm not taking anything for my sleeping problems.
And I'll talk to ya sometime about it possibly.:)

Shane: Thanks mate, it's ok, will do.

HMK: Thanks for the reply,
I am currently struggling to focus on my academics, that's the whole problem with it, I have no motivation. And I'm not on a course that I have paid for incase that's what you thought. I can re-take the classes next year yeah, but as I said I'm fed up with the place really, why would I want another year there.
I socially fit in alright, I have lots of friends and have people to talk to in all my classes, it's just the place, the lessons, the teachers and the level of work amongst other things that are bringing me down.
My Dad causes pointless arguments with me, there's no 'his side' to view, it's all pointless. I think it may have affected my mental health already, possibly with the sleeping thing and becoming a bit paranoid lately with everything I do/say. It will be a long time before I can afford to move out.
Regarding the 'twat friends' see what I said to Kaye.
That's true about the sleeping thing, however I already do go away and do something, then I don't get even barely tired til about 3/4am most nights, and have to get up around 7, so you see the problem there don't you.
And your post helped quite a bit, thanks:)

Alice: Thanks:)
Sounds as if you were in a similar situation to mine right now, this being before I knew you. I hope stuff can turn round like that for me.
I know you weren't bragging don't worry.
Thanks, glad you think so, and yeah I'm excited about that, but as of late it has taken no precident with other things going on.
Hugs back to you too, and you are also THE sex!

Thanks everyone:) It means a lot to get some replies like this. You've all helped :)

[PrincessAlice]

leon i will force "life is a rollercoaster - rohan" and "don't worry, be happy - bob marley" on you :p

[Leon]

God help me, I'm as bad as it is, I don't need more suffering...oh and I don't mind Bob Marley :P

[Kerry]

Starters you're a great agony uncle! :)

Okays, Your college, Don't push yourself really hard to and stress yourself with it. The best thing to do is do what ya can otherwise you'll be pushing yourself to hard and be more stressed. :)

When your near the girl at work see if she's really relaxed with you and if so maybe ask her, it's been 3 weeks aswell so bringing it up I don't think will do any harm bringing it up again :)

Everyone argues with there parents, If your angry or feel an arguement coming on just stop yourself think about whats going to happen if you carry on. I do that aswell :p.
If they're arguing with you say your bit and stop if they carry on just say ''I have alredy said (whatever ya said)'' And walk away that way it will stop and it won't go into anything further.

The way to deal with your friends is to tell them how they have been treating you that way they might realise and treat you right. :)

I told ya I wasn't very good advice...But I hope this helped a bit.

It will get better, This time next year who knows what you'll be doing.

Anyways Good Luck with everything I hope it works out well. :)

[Leon]

Thanks Kerry, and you do give good advice contrary to what you think. I might just do some of that stuff :)

[Kerry]

Thanks Kerry, and you do give good advice contrary to what you think. I might just do some of that stuff :)
Haha thanx :D.
It will get okay, sometimes it just works out this way.:)

[God.]

I have a solution.

Leon, I'd like to sit down and chat with you about this, I might be a complete psycho, but you've written about my life, and I'd like to tell you in person exactly what you shouldn't do.

Here's another solution; Callum/Shane/Leon = 3 Bed house ftfw. ;)

[Nirvana_rox]

Woah dude that sucks.
Fell sorry for ya man.
Can't help in any way tho.
But as it has been said a few times: Be happy.:D

[Leon]

I have a solution.

Leon, I'd like to sit down and chat with you about this, I might be a complete psycho, but you've written about my life, and I'd like to tell you in person exactly what you shouldn't do.

Here's another solution; Callum/Shane/Leon = 3 Bed house ftfw. ;)Thanks Callum, you're not a psycho, and you've been through pretty much the same so you know how I feel. :) A talk with you about all of this would probably really help.

That other solution actually does sound tempting.


Woah dude that sucks.
Fell sorry for ya man.
Can't help in any way tho.
But as it has been said a few times: Be happy.:DThanks Aimee, glad you read this for me:)

[iaxa]

i have felt some of those things you posted leon and i can tell you it pisses you off. with your college it is very similar to the shit thats going on with me at school. last year and all throughout junior years i had a A- average now i am down to a C- in the first term the teachers didnt no what to think they still dont they think i have worked my self up about how hard the work is and i have created a mental barrier that i cant get past or some random shit. (bunch of crack heads i know) i am still dealing with my problems and i hope but the end of next term i can figure them out one of them is moving away.
i have had the whole sleep thing come on aswell there was a point where i would sleep for 1 whole day and go with out sleep for 50 hours. it really fucked me over. try taking a break just to relax and chill thats what helped me.

[God.]

Thanks Callum, you're not a psycho, and you've been through pretty much the same so you know how I feel. :) A talk with you about all of this would probably really help.

That other solution actually does sound tempting.

Good, I was being serious.

Anyway, PM me your number, and we should arrange a coffee or something. :)

[Chris]

Right, I have loads of stuff to get off my chest so bear with me, sorry if it's a long read.
Anyone who reads all of this, you rock! And I'm very grateful for your time, it means a great deal to me

Ok so basically my life is slowly slipping downhill and seems to be picking up other shit on the way and speeding up as it goes.
I'll start with college, I hate the fucking place, I have no idea why I even bother going anymore. I'm failing my subjects as I'll explain in a minute. I have no intention of going to university, even if i did I can't go next year cos of my chemistry. I simply have no motivation whatsoever to go to college, I don't think that helps. I have no idea whatsoever of what I want to do as a career, therefore uni would be pointless, plus I wouldn't be able to do the work as I'm struggling at college as it is.
So I'm doing my A-levels, second year Maths and ICT of which I am going to fail both, it's already a foregone conclusion. Last year in those I picked up a D and E respectively, and I haven't even got a clue on half of this year's work. On my recent ICT coursework I scored about 25/120, which is worth about half of my second year A-Level grade.
I'm doing first year Chemistry, meaning if I want to finish that I will have to go back to that dreaded place a couple of days a week for the whole of next year just to finish that stupid course off, of which I'm already only working at a grade D or so, and that's from the first topic on stuff I already knew, so I guess that's headed the same way as the other subjects.
My friends try to help me at college for which I am grateful, but I simply can't focus on the work anymore, the place just annoys the hell out of me. I might follow Shane's example and just quit, I've been considering it for a while now already, I was always gonna wait til I had a job first if I did though, which I now do have. If I fail either of my maths or ICT this year I'm just gonna leave the place.

This would leave me with just my new job, which at the minute seems to be the only alright thing going for me. My parents have been lending me money for college and stuff til I got a job, but really I think they're just glad that I can pay for myself now. The only thing they don't have a go at me for now anyway.
I seem to constantly fall out with my parents over every single littlest thing nowadays, I argue with my Dad within 30 seconds of him walking in the house every night. My mum has enough arguments with me too but she is ok half the time. I respect my parents for everything they have done for me in my life but I really wish sometimes I could fucking move out, but I can't afford it, which sucks. I would take my bro with me, he dosn't deserve all the shit I get when he reaches my age.

My parents aren't the only ones I fall out with, I seem to be annoying/upsetting people left, right and centre lately. I somehow fall out with someone over nothing way too much, and I am constantly in arguments sometimes when this happens. I never try and cause arguments with people, half the shit some people say to me is bullshit and it just offends me more than anything. Then there are the friends who have lately become twats, who you fall out with you argue then next time they see you, nothing happened, leaving the opportunity for it to all happen again...which eventually it will.
I don't like confrontations, and I don't like upsetting my friends, I try to go out of my way and be generous to my friends, anyone who knows me fully will tell you this.
I'll tell you what I did last night, I went to a party with some mates, came home, told one of my mates he could stay at mine, cos at his he wouldn't get proper sleep and wanted to get up nice n early for work this morning, then when we got dropped at home, we went and re-met up with some people from the party, some of which I haven't seen for months on end. I ended up walking home a long time friend who lived just over a mile away at 2am, and I offered to do it, she was upset and a bit drunk. She was eternally grateful, because she was a friend from school, spent nearly every day for 5 years talking to me, if I did that to some of my current friends I'd probably just get a 'thanks, bye'.
In return I get fuck all off some of them. Not like I'm expecting them to fucking bow down to me when I enter a room, just be fucking alright with me.

Anyway so yeah I've started work, one problem, I work with a girl I like. I met her properly at college through a mate about 3 months ago now, and have liked her ever since. Then around a month and a half ago she said there were jobs available where she worked knowing I was job hunting, so I applied and got the job. However she found out that I might like her off the mate that introduced us, I did then tell her myself, exactly how I felt. She kinda just took it and had no reply really, apart from she just made one comment that she thought it might not work (this was just considering I was starting work that very week, so she meant like working together). However she did say I'll let you know if I change how I feel. I don't know what to think, I mean this was about 3 weeks ago now. We are perfectly good friends and everything and everything now just seems like it was before I told her. I feel like I've made a mistake telling her even though she said it was nice to know and she was really impressed. I have no idea what to do about it now, whether to just leave it or bring the issue back up with her, because everything is going ok at work, and I don't really see her that much there anwyay.

Due to probably all of this I have had sleeping problems for around 2 months now, some nights I simply can't fall asleep, other nights I get a few hours. I hardly ever get 7 hours sleep, not because I don't have the time, purely because I just can't fall asleep.

I am now also paranoid about some of this stuff thinking constantly 'if i say this will it upset them' I am then apologising for what I say, I just feel son confused by it all. I also have started thinking 'what is the point of this?' everytime I do something, it's making me think whether there is actually something worth living for.

Anyway, I literally could go on forever, but that covers most of my current problems, thanks for reading if you did, it really means a lot to me.
My head is currently all over the place and I just don't see a solution to any of it.

If at any point over the last month I've argued with you or thought you've accused me of something or anything like that, I'm sorry, I hope you can understand why now.

Fucking hell the irony, I'm supposed to be a bloody Agony Uncle.
Okay, i read all your post.

Right, first of all: College. While you may not be enjoying it at all right now, i think you should at least try to finish this year, there can only be like 5 weeks left (if that). I can't pretend to know exactly how you feel about failing ALL of your subjects, but I know exactly what you mean about not enjoying college, right now i'm seriously considering dropping Psychology as soon as we go back on Monday because i know for a fact that i'm not going to pass it, this is partly due to me having had an absolutely shocking teacher who evidently doesn't know jack shit about the subject. I tried complaining to Trev (you were with me when i complained to him) and seemingly nothing has been done, i think it's a kind of "cover our arses" maneuver by the college where they protect their own lecturers, this has really pissed me off. However, in your situation, i think that if you do indeed mess up this year, there is little point going back next year. Who knows, in a few years you may change your mind and decide to go back to college, when you feel YOU want to, there's no point forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do right now.

On to the friends issue: I hope i'm not one of those people you are referring to as "twats", if i am then i sincerely appologise for whatever it is that i've done, i've known you since we were both about 1 year old, and therefore you are obviously one of my oldest and closest friends. I definitely know what you mean here though, as i'm sure you are aware by now i've recently fallen out with a formerly good friend of mine over the way he's been acting towards me and certain others recently: just because i didn't go to the Nook (which i never actually said i was going to do in the first place) and went to Barnsley one week he decides to ignore me one day, talk to me the next, and then ignore me again, i got sick of the childishness of it all and stopped speaking to him and right now i'm just not in the mood to attempt a reconcilliation with him, meaning that i've lost a friend which i had for most of High School and College, and you know what? I couldn't care less. Seriously, if there is anyone who you personally feel is a "twat" just don't bother with them any more, they're not worth it.

And finally, the parents issue. It seems to be the other way around for me, my Dad is the calm and nice one, while my mum is the one who is on my back all the time. A few weeks back when we got our exam results back and mine were exceptionally bad, i felt really down, and i was snapping at just about everyone for stupid and pointless reasons (as you found out in Morrisons when you and Batty took the twix, lol), then about 3 or 4 days after we got the results i absolutely "exploded" in anger at my mum over something completely stupid, it actually scared me how angry i got, and this is all because of the exam results. The only piece of advice i can offer in dealing with the arguments with your Dad is to just take what he says and don't try and answer back = argument avoided. Yes, you may not like the outcome, but at least there probably wont be any unpleasantness. Whether they are right or not, parents ALWAYS think they are right, and trying to answer back is just pointless and foolish.

And as for the girl at Wickes, you seem to be "ashamed" of letting her know how you feel. Don't ever feel ashamed about something like that, at least it shows you've got the balls to do it, which is more than you can say for me, in this respect i'm a god damn pussy, constantly in fear of rejection. Good on you for letting her know! Give her some time, and then try again.

[lucille]

If your problems run no further than college & working with a girl you like then you should be thanking your lucky stars to be honest. You have all your limbs, you're not dying of cancer and you don't live in a half broken shack beside drug dealers and murderers.

Everyone has arguments with their parents; at least you're not getting beaten up, as far as I know. Hell, you still have both your parents, something I envy and most people don't seem to appreciate. You still have options, even if you do drop out of college (although that seems a little pointless if you're in the last year seeing as it's all over in a few months). By the sounds of it you just have the same problems most normal teenagers go through, and I'm not saying I don't sympathise but sitting around typing out all the reasons your life is shit isn't exactly going to help, is it?

[God.]

If your problems run no further than college & working with a girl you like then you should be thanking your lucky stars to be honest. You have all your limbs, you're not dying of cancer and you don't live in a half broken shack beside drug dealers and murderers.

I hate when people say that.

At the end of the day, if you don't have any problems, then you're not normal.

Everyone has problems that are important to them, and it'd be silly for us to predetermine how important our problems may be to other people, before we decide how we feel about them.

Are you saying that is he fulfilled the criteria outlined above, he'd be more entitled to feel bad?

[lucille]

I hate when people say that.

At the end of the day, if you don't have any problems, then you're not normal.

Everyone has problems that are important to them, and it'd be silly for us to predetermine how important our problems may be to other people, before we decide how we feel about them.

Are you saying that is he fulfilled the criteria outlined above, he'd be more entitled to feel bad?

I think it's better to put things into perspective rather than wallow in self-pity. Most people's problems are completely blown out of proportion because people are narcissistic and like having issues to talk about, and sometimes you just need to stop bitching about it and get on with life.

Obviously it's normal to have problems, but some people deal with them in such a melo-dramatic way. Basically, what I'm saying, is get over it, because there are millions of people in the same position, and none of those problems are permanant, you just have to see beyond the near future.

[Leon]

Just thought you would like to know that this is the first time I've ever written down how I feel about anything.
I don't do it regularly to be melodramatic about it.

[lucille]

I know, sorry, I was just talking about most people in general. I don't want to sound like a bitch I just think sometimes the worst thing you can receive is pity and sympathy and the best advice is just to be told to get on with it, because actually stopping and thinking about all the things that have gone wrong will only make it a lot worse. At least you know these troubles are only temporary, and will seem petty in a few years time, and that is such a relieving thought. You live in a country where you have so many options for the future, you have your health and evidently a lot of friends. Despite a few minor setbacks you actually have a foundation for a pretty good life. Things happen, life isn't supposed to be easy all the time, everybody goes through shit, there is absolutely no point in constantly trying to find the negative points, because I bet when you actually think about it the positive parts of your life outweigh them.

But meh, it may have worked on me but tough love doesn't work on everyone, I suppose.

[Jimbob]

Here's another solution; Callum/Shane/Leon = 3 Bed house ftfw. ;)

In the words of bob, kinkey!

[Leon]

I know, sorry, I was just talking about most people in general. I don't want to sound like a bitch I just think sometimes the worst thing you can receive is pity and sympathy and the best advice is just to be told to get on with it, because actually stopping and thinking about all the things that have gone wrong will only make it a lot worse. At least you know these troubles are only temporary, and will seem petty in a few years time, and that is such a relieving thought. You live in a country where you have so many options for the future, you have your health and evidently a lot of friends. Despite a few minor setbacks you actually have a foundation for a pretty good life. Things happen, life isn't supposed to be easy all the time, everybody goes through shit, there is absolutely no point in constantly trying to find the negative points, because I bet when you actually think about it the positive parts of your life outweigh them.

But meh, it may have worked on me but tough love doesn't work on everyone, I suppose.Thank you:)
Yeah I'm not exactly thinking that this is gonna be permanent, I just wanted to share some of my feelings with my friends, that maybe they weren't aware of and this seemed easier than telling all of them in person, cos I know most of the mods and admin in person ya see.
I just hope this ordeal finishes soon.


In the words of bob, kinkey!OOH KINKEH! lmao

[Leon]

A friend just pointed something out to me, they said even my ICT teacher at college has noticed I'm a little down lately and she's just told me he asked her if I was ok, as he had overheard I had split up with my ex a couple of months ago when I was telling the friend in class.

She said to me she thinks I've been on a slippery slope down since then, that's where all this really started off, and I have to agree really.

[God.]

:(

Thanks for the PM. I'm in Lancaster atm, but when i get back to Sheffield, which should be tomorrow, and settled, I'll get in touch. :)

[Leon]

:(

Thanks for the PM. I'm in Lancaster atm, but when i get back to Sheffield, which should be tomorrow, and settled, I'll get in touch. :)Ok, thanks :)
I'm working tomorrow 5pm-8pm so don't ring me between then, only text


As for the girl at work, I'm not gonna bother now, I've decided. I now don't quite see her in the way that I did, and I think it's better if I just left it really. Don't think I really want a relationship at the minute.

[Leon]

I've had a nice surprise tonight :) cheered me up a bit as regards to relationships stuff.

[xMissIzzyx]

That's great Leon, glad things are lookin up for you :) Keep us posted

[Leon]

Thanks Izzy.
Well I was possibly thinking about moving out, possibly to live with Shane and Callum.
However after seriously considering it for a few days, I've decided not to go ahead with it, I've informed Callum. I feel in a way that I have let him down, but I'm just not ready for it at the minute, in a few months, possibly:)

I'm going to stay at college for another year, hopefully successfully finish off my A-Levels. Just got a job recently so I'm going to stay at home, save up some money, buy some things for myself, clothes, which would really help as I currently have very few clothes that fit after losing weight a couple of months ago. Then when I have saved up enough, I might reconsider moving out:) for the right reasons it would be then hopefully.

[xMissIzzyx]

That sounds like a really good idea babe.
I'd concentrate on yourself for a while n get yourself sorted without having to cope with more money having to be paid. I really hope it works out for you :D

[Leon]

Thanks, yeah I thought it would be for the best too.

[Innamorata]

>_<

Oh well, good luck Leon.

[Leon]

>_<

Oh well,What?

Thanks :)

[Innamorata]

I think Callum was kinda counting on you moving in, but I'm sure it'll work out alright for everyone.

[Leon]

I think Callum was kinda counting on you moving in, but I'm sure it'll work out alright for everyone.We chatted about the whole thing for a good few hours on Thursday, he said he didn't want to pressure me into it and that I didn't have to.
He also said he thought staying on at college was a good idea too.

I do feel really bad about it. :(
And I have offered to help Callum in any possible way he needs with it all.

[Innamorata]

Nah, it's not up to you to get him into housing. He's gotta do that, and I have to help him cos I'm his girlfriend.

I hope everything works out for you :) *hugs*

[Leon]

I want to help him out:)

And thanks:)

[xMissIzzyx]

You're too much of a good guy sometimes :P

[Bob!]

Incorrect.

From what I've seen if a lot more blokes were like Leon, I'd have a lil more restored faith and honor in my fellow Men.

[Leon]

You're too much of a good guy sometimes :PIn what sense?

Incorrect.

From what I've seen if a lot more blokes were like Leon, I'd have a lil more restored faith and honor in my fellow Men.Erm, ok

[Bob!]

As in I don't believe in "too much" of a good bloke. :P

[Innamorata]

He wants to bum you :P

[Bob!]

Incorrect.

Back to providin assistance with his situation please.

[arcticbliss]

Yeah, I agree I'd say talk to your parents too. Even though sometimes the going gets tough things seem to always work themselves out.

[Leon]

As in I don't believe in "too much" of a good bloke. :PAhh ok, cheers mate:)

He wants to bum you :PBacks to the wall next time I see him then.

Yeah, I agree I'd say talk to your parents too. Even though sometimes the going gets tough things seem to always work themselves out.Thanks, they don't always though, sadly.

[Kate]

Advice is pointless if youre not in the right frame of mind to accept it.
Virtual huggles ftw

[Leon]

Advice is pointless if youre not in the right frame of mind to accept it.
Virtual huggles ftwVery true, I'm feeling a lot better today:)
Thanks Kate *huggles back*:)

[Kate]

Woop.
Huggles pwn all, no?
xxx

[Leon]

Woop.
Huggles pwn all, no?
xxxYes!

[Leon]

Ok so an update on everything.

Firstly college, I know I've been moaning about it, and have come to the point and realised that this is pointless, this year I'm going to get the grades I have worked for, I'm going to try and revise everything I can, and hopefully get the grades to pass ;)
If not, I've decided I'm now going to go to college for another year, I have the motivation to simply do well. I've decided not to go to university, at least at this point in my life anyway, maybe in a few years. So hopefully by the end of next year I will have a set of passed A-levels:)

My new job is going ok, got paid, spent it haha (monthly pay FTL). I've made a couple of good friends there and a mate of mine just started there too this week, so it should be a good laugh!
As for the girl I like/now liked, I decided I didn't wantto take anything further with her, we've built up a good relationship as friends and I wouldn't want to ruin that. She has a new bf, and I'm happy for her, I hope it works for them. :)

I still have the odd day when everything and everyone pisses me off, Sunday was one for example, but it seems to be getting better. I'm ok with pretty much everyone now, in and out of college. Made up with a couple of mates who I'd fell out with at the time of starting this thread.

I have a new bed, and it's the comfiest thing ever, no exaggeration at all (a Silent Night one, like off the advert, I believe in miracoils haha :P). My sleeping seems to be getting better, although I was woken up this morning by my parents arguing at 7am, so as you see, that hasn't quite improved yet, but it's been like this for so long it doesn;t bother me half as much as it did 3/4 years ago. It's just pointless and petty.

I'm generally a lot happier with everything now than I was a couple of weeks ago when I started this thread.

Thanks for everyone who's talked to me about any of it or posted in this thread. I never imagined this thing would get even half the amount of replies it did, I'm really grateful to you all.
And to anyone who I've started talking to a lot more recently, such as Kate, Izzy, thanks for taking the time to listen when you hardly even know me. :)

I should be back to my old self very soon, if I'm not already:D For you guys who didn't know me before then (as mentioned above)...haha beware! :P

[iaxa]

now get back to work and start solving peoples problems XD

[Leon]

now get back to work and start solving peoples problems XDYou bet your ass I'm gonna do.

(note: don't actually bet your ass, any loss causing dismemberment of body parts I withdraw my responsibility for.)

[God.]

Lol.

[Leon]

Just an update for you all, I now have a new girlfriend, and feel great :)
The happiest I've been for quite a few months. :D
Thanks everyone.

[Rashella]

Glad your happy again =D

[PrincessAlice]

whos your girlfriend?

[Leon]

whos your girlfriend?She went to my school, year below me, called Sam :)


Glad your happy again =DThankies.:)

[PrincessAlice]

awwwww cute...... bully her into joining here :p

[Leon]

awwwww cute...... bully her into joining here :pMaybe:P

[~Wayne~]

Theres no maybe about it, get that woman trained! :P

[Leon]

Haha :P

[teresa_green]

glad ur happy maybe i caught u at the wrong time. i dont want u 2 be pissed off at me permenetley so maybe we can start agin cos u seem all ryt wen u aint callin me every name under the sun

[Leon]

glad ur happy maybe i caught u at the wrong time. i dont want u 2 be pissed off at me permenetley so maybe we can start agin cos u seem all ryt wen u aint callin me every name under the sunMaybe you did yes and I apologise.
I see however that you just posted an offensive post that was removed, and I've just read it and am quite offended. So I think you should apologise.
And I haven't exactly called you any names.

[teresa_green]

yh soz bout that i was only jokin. i dont no what u called me but it aint a discuusion id like evryone to be able to read

[Leon]

yh soz bout that i was only jokin. i dont no what u called me but it aint a discuusion id like evryone to be able to readOk, so are we alright now?

Cos I keep leaving it be and you bring it up again in posts, such as 'people from Sheffield gang up on you' which isn't true. So just stop doing stuff like that and we're fine.

Ok :)


(messed up merging so this was the next post):

teresa_green said:

damn ur good! nah i was only jokin n it aint true i like Gemski n she said she noes u so i guess shes from sheffield but i was mainly referrin to u but i changed my mind. im a girl, it happens

k i just read wot u wrote n im so sorry. honestly. i didnt know a person could go throu so much shit n still have time to fight with sum1 5 yrs younger than them. u deserva a break n im sorry if i just added a lil bit more to ur problems. i hope u dont hold grudges cos i am bein serious x

[Leon]

im confused. what did u do?Yeah I was just editing your 2 last posts to combine them into 1 and I messed it up that was all, its ok, I'll delete that unecessary post inbetween.

Anyway as I was saying:

damn ur good! nah i was only jokin n it aint true i like Gemski n she said she noes u so i guess shes from sheffield but i was mainly referrin to u but i changed my mind. im a girl, it happensGemski isn't from Sheffield, so I just hope you take that into account. :)


k i just read wot u wrote n im so sorry. honestly. i didnt know a person could go throu so much shit n still have time to fight with sum1 5 yrs younger than them. u deserva a break n im sorry if i just added a lil bit more to ur problems. i hope u dont hold grudges cos i am bein serious xIt's alright, yes I have my own problems, and I just still find time to come onto here and help others, cos I like to help them. I've overcome most of the stuff now anyway and you didn't add to any problems and no...I don't hold grudges.

So we're ok now :)

[teresa_green]

Yay!!!!!!!!!

[Gemski]

Where did I come into this??

[Leon]

Where did I come into this??I have no idea to be perfectly honest why your name was mentioned. =S

Try asking the member.

[Gemski]

I think its because she thought I knew alot botu teh forum
so was asking me stuff
and I told her that you were a good guy
and I thought her friend might be lying abotu you being 'nasty'
so then she said that she had just read your thread and felt bad
so I said well perhaps you could apoligise
im sre he would appreciate it.

:D
See. I AM nice.
(That AM wasn't pointed at you :P)

[Leon]

I think its because she thought I knew alot botu teh forum
so was asking me stuff
and I told her that you were a good guy
and I thought her friend might be lying abotu you being 'nasty'
so then she said that she had just read your thread and felt bad
so I said well perhaps you could apoligise
im sre he would appreciate it.

:D
See. I AM nice.
(That AM wasn't pointed at you :P)Probably that then.

Aww thanks *hugs*:)
And she did, and we're ok now, thanks Gemma :)

[Gemski]

nps :D

[teresa_green]

u tlkin bout me?

[Innamorata]

Duh.

[teresa_green]

it was a rhetorical question. i no theyre talkin bout me cos i was tlkin to them first

[Innamorata]

Sure...nice backtrack.

[teresa_green]

what?

[Leon]

Hmm...

[sweet8060]

wow Leon srry i just finally got the chance to read this. I totally know how the sleeping thing is. and I don't knwo what to tell you about it cuz the only way i sleep is with heavy metal playing :). But don't quit school for good or anything like that. You need an education.

[teresa_green]

u callin him dum?

[lucille]

u callin him dum?

Its spelt dumb.

Gosh, irony is a wonderful thing.

[sweet8060]

nope just saying an education is important. Soon in this world you will need an education to do anything. Even to flip burgers

[Leon]

Soon in this world you will need an education to do anything. Even to flip burgersYou already do! lol

& thanks hun:)

[LittleMissJolie]

ok... first of all I quit college last year and I dont regret it one bit. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I was doing a course that just wasnt for me. It seems to me like you feel this way about the courses you are doing. I also didnt know what to do as a career when I quit college so I took some time out to think about it... and then I decided on a career path after many months and I decided I wanted to go back to college... so i'm going back in september to do some different courses. I suggest you do the same.

The thing with your parents, I think you need to sit them down and talk to them without arguing... at the end of the day you are all adults so if you calmly explain your point of view on the situation, then you can get to the root of the problem without it turning into another screaming match.

The girl, I personally would leave it now because i've learnt from past experience that if you approach a person about a situation like this more than once, it usually scares them away and makes you appear too pushy. Give her time, let her decide and she will talk to you when she is ready.


It's up to you what you do, I can only advise you, but in the meantime try to stay strong. Oh and you have plenty of things to live for, a house, a family, friends... some people dont even have that. Dont give up on life, it's not worth it, trust me.

Hugs, L x

[Leon]

Thank you so much for this reply, I don't blame you for not reading through the 80 odd posts in here, just a couple of things have changed since that first post anyway :)
ok... first of all I quit college last year and I dont regret it one bit. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I was doing a course that just wasnt for me. It seems to me like you feel this way about the courses you are doing. I also didnt know what to do as a career when I quit college so I took some time out to think about it... and then I decided on a career path after many months and I decided I wanted to go back to college... so i'm going back in september to do some different courses. I suggest you do the same.That sounds like how I was feeling yeah, I've decided now I'm going to stay at college for another year now anyway, I have a course I'd like to finish :)

The thing with your parents, I think you need to sit them down and talk to them without arguing... at the end of the day you are all adults so if you calmly explain your point of view on the situation, then you can get to the root of the problem without it turning into another screaming match.Yeah I did that, when I was on the verge of moving out, we sorted everything. We still argue a lot but I don't give a shit about their opinions in arguments any more cos I don't even listen to them, in the same way they ignore my views.

The girl, I personally would leave it now because i've learnt from past experience that if you approach a person about a situation like this more than once, it usually scares them away and makes you appear too pushy. Give her time, let her decide and she will talk to you when she is ready.Yeah well I did leave it, and she got with a guy who she's now been dating for a couple of months or so. We still get on well too :)

It's up to you what you do, I can only advise you, but in the meantime try to stay strong. Oh and you have plenty of things to live for, a house, a family, friends... some people dont even have that. Dont give up on life, it's not worth it, trust me.Thanks a lot for this post :) I really appreciate it.

[LittleMissJolie]

aw youre welcome babe, are u feeling a bit happier then?

xxxx

[Leon]

Yeah thanks, I really am :)