I'm worried about my mum

[xMissIzzyx]

I've mentioned this in a couple of threads briefly but I'm really starting to worry now.
My mum has an infected tumour-like absess [sp?] on her breast. It hasn't bothered her for 9 years and has suddenly returned out of nowhere.
She had about 4 operations when I was younger to remove the absess, and remove the milk glands which were causing the infection [the glands were blocked]. The doctors thought they had solved the problem and everything's been fine since. And now the problems suddenly returned and none of the antibiotics are working. If the doctors don't operate, the infection will kill her. She says they will operate but I can tell she's really worried, and in so much pain.
She's not sleeping or eating and she looks like death.

I want to be able to support her but I don't know where to start. Communication between us has never been good and I know she knows I love her etc but I'm so worried :(

I dunno what to do.
Advice?

[--Tania--]

I think you should talk to another family member, one that you are close to and see if you and them can work together to support her. I know it sounds weird but someone who is already worried trying to support someone else who is also worried doesn't always seem to work. another thing you could try is talking to the doctor about what is really happening, it might reassure both of you.

[Jimbob]

If you ever need a hug or someone to talk to, you have me.

I know things are difficult at home, so its not easy trying to make things easier for your mum, when she doesn't always make things easy for you, but maybe try and do little things, even if its as simple as asking if she wants a cup of tea or something when your getting yourself one.

[BaBii_J]

Well I've been there with my aunt when she had to get to liver transplants. I didn't think there was much to do, but I hoped and prayed and my friends were there for me and they hope and prayed with me, and they let fate take it's course all you can do is wait to see what happens, and make the decisions you think are right. so just hope and pray and let fate take it's course, but I hope everything works out and gets better, and I'll pray for her too.

[xMissIzzyx]

Thanks guys, I appreciate your support :)
She's still in a lot of pain n I feel right bad for her :(

[Leon]

I've also never had the best communication with my parents, but occasionally you simply just have to go up to them and say, I want to chat, and they will listen. Because they don't talk to you that much, they will want to know what it is that you have to talk to them about thinking it is important, which this is.
Just simply tell her how you feel about it all, regardless if it upsets you, she needs to know that you care and support her.

I agree with what Jimbob said, this can be started by the simplest thing such as getting her a drink, then both of you sit down with your drinks and just talk:)

I hope that helps.

[xMissIzzyx]

Thanks Leon, I'll try that :)

[Darts]

Don't be afraid to rely on your friends either. (You know I'm here for you anyway, anything at all I'll be straight there.)

[Fez]

yeh dude and i agree with what JimBob had to say. even the smallest things matter. just tell her something she wants to hear or something, and like bring her something. stat talking to her. make her feel important and stuff. like she really means something to you..

[Leon]

Thanks Leon, I'll try that :)Glad it helped.
Keep us posted:)

[xMissIzzyx]

Cherie - Ofcourse I know that babe :)
Fez - I will do
Leon - Of course =]

[xMissIzzyx]

We're going to the hospital in about an hour so I'll let you know what happens.

[Leon]

Ok, good luck with it:)
Hope she's ok.

[xMissIzzyx]

Thanks sweetie *huggle*
So do I :(

[Innamorata]

Good luck :)

[xMissIzzyx]

Been at hospital again today, going in for Xrays tomorrow and then they're gonna try n like syringe it out, if that doesn't work they'll operate next week.
Not happy about it though cos I don't think they realise jus how much pain she's in.

[Leon]

Tell them how much pain she's in.

[Jimbob]

Been at hospital again today, going in for Xrays tomorrow and then they're gonna try n like syringe it out, if that doesn't work they'll operate next week.
Not happy about it though cos I don't think they realise jus how much pain she's in.

I think its just because its private, they have to sort out payment for everything first, so they can't always just rush someone into a certain department. I know when I had a heavy hit to my head once... I turned up and they wanted to do a scan, but they had to wait till the next day because of all the paper work and stuff =/

Hope it goes ok. You know where I am if you need to talk.

[xMissIzzyx]

well it's a fucking daft system.
Someone's life/Paperwork...
WHAT A DIFFICULT DECISION!

[Kate]

I really don't know what to say.
I just wish you all the best Iz.
Give her a hug from me, kay?