I cant do this.

[iaxa]

:S i cant do this move anymore. it is getting to me. i am getting cold feet now i dont wanna move i like failing and i like working at maccas at least i enjoy it and i am good at it the people i work wit hare great to talk to and we always have a good laugh.

i know i am pretty lonely down here i only hang out with james really. but he is like a brother to me. also i think if i move i will have no one to talk to cept my cousins who are cool and all but yeah i dont want my only friends being my cousins.

my sister pisses me off something crazy i would kick her out if i had the chance but she is moving away hopefully. i'm not sure i can do this my mum has been getting upset about me leaving because i have been staying up really late like from almost 10 in the next morning at one stage and the only reason i gave in was because my 360 controller batteries died.

i dunno i hope to god that things will be better at my dads it is like my trump card atm. i have my reasons for leaving but i dont think they are enough to keep myself there. my flight leaves in like 5 days my dad has organised everything i cant just simply walkout on him. he said before i do this i had to be 100% sure i wouldnt back out. however, i didnt know that i would be going with out my only means of escape gaming and the internet that wasnt part of the deal :S.

i really dont know what will happen i am not ready to cut this part of my life out. but deep down i know i have to leave. i cant keep on going the way i am. doing nothing about grades and school work it is just too risky and if i move to my dads i know without these other factors i can get the grades i had. i will be able to return with a better life for myself in the near future.

but lets say i do go i dont know what i am going to do when i am older. like i said in other posts i thought it was programming but i cant seem to find and interest in it anymore. nothing else really interested me like programming did.

i dunno i spose most of you are pretty fed up with me bitching and moaning for advice well hopefully this is the last time i ask for advice anyways i might go play a couple games or something .

Rowan out ( <---- i had to do that)

[eversosweet]

hey there...
hm. im not going to say "oh it will be alright everything will be fine" because that would be a load of crap. i've never really gone through this situation before, but know that even though this is tough, maybe something good can come out of it, even if it seems pretty thoroughly impossible at this point. if you need help and you're feeling lonely at your dad's, tf is always here for you, but make sure you don't make it a comfort zone that you rely solely upon. once you move, try some new things. you said programming has lost it's appeal...well maybe this move will help you discover something else. i dunno. try to make the best out of it.

well that sounded lame, but i hope it helped. good luck?

[iaxa]

mmm i wont be on tf as much or msn so thats kinda out of the question.

[Darts]

Rowan hun this is going to be really difficult for you but why not work out just how much of what you currently have you can get back if you decide to return? Then you can feel less tied down to one location, which will make living with your dad a lot less claustrophobic.

Also, maybe you can talk your dad into getting the internet if you're going back into education? Most people really need it to keep up with the rest of the class on loads of courses, especially if the work itself is computer related, depending on what you choose.

I don't know what else to say other than good luck. xxx

[iaxa]

he has the internet. but he will only let me use it for school work. he has to have internet for him to be able to run his business but these were he exact words " i have no problem with you using the internet for school work. just as long as you do not use the computer for you to play games and talk to your friends you can earn your own computer. as far as i am concerned i will not pay for you to do the same thing twice." seems fair :S i guess.

[Kate]

" i have no problem with you using the internet for school work. just as long as you do not use the computer for you to play games and talk to your friends you can earn your own computer. as far as i am concerned i will not pay for you to do the same thing twice." seems fair :S i guess.

Fair? Hows that bloody fair?
And whats the point in spending a few hundred quid on something you only use for its word processor.
Your dad is actually a mong.

[iaxa]

so i dont fuck up my grades. cause if i use the computer for games he knows i will play them instead of doing school work. pretty much the whole point of my move is to get rid of my distractions and get back into my nerd habbit.

[iaxa]

well i had a long ponder the other day and now i realised why i am doing it. i realised that getting cold feet is only apart of it and sure i will miss everything down here but i am only doing it to improve myself i guess. so how care it is going to be what 3 months to settle in i have be lonely for longer. anywho i will try and let you guys know how it turns out. i am going to give it about a year if it isnt working out i dunno what i will do.

[misha_val]

poor you...

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

I know change is sometimes never good in the beginning but you will get used to everything and if moving with your dad is the only way you feel everything will improve and you will come out a better person you have to do what is best for you leave the bad stuff behind leave to a new life and a fresh start with your dad. It wouldn't be fair for him for you to back out, and you can still keep in touch with your mom over the phone you will still have friends you can talk to like on here we're always willing to give our types of advice and comfort. :)