Do you think this is fair??

[J355Y1]

Ive been goin out with my bf for about 3 mths now.. he is 18 and i am 15.. sum fri and sat nites he goes out clubbing with his mates and i stay home. Other times he goes clubbin and i want to go to my friends houses but he says he wont go out if it means im goin to go out.. when i go out to friends houses and shopping, he rings me alot and gets angry thinking i am with other guys and cheating on him. When i tell him im not he gets angry and thinks im lieing. Do you think that it is fair that i let him go clubbing all the time wit his gurl friends but he doesnt let me go shopping with my guys or even with my gurls because he believes im am cheating?? also i wud liek to go to an underage club but he will not let me because he thinks that i will cheat and all the boiiz will try things with me. Yet i let him go out.. wat shud i do to make him trust me? and how do i fix this problem? i wud realli like to b able to hang out with my guy friends!! sum1 help plz!!

[T-Anne]

Well, it seems to me your boyfriend is paranoid and gets jealous easily... This could mean he really cares about you, but there's no need for him to go overboard with it...
Have you sat down and talked about it with him???
Do you think the relationship will still work if he continues to act this way? You cant stay in your room all night just because he says you cant go out... You have your own life... And sure, he's in it... But you have other friends and people you care about... And at some point in time he should understand that...
Im not the best at giving advice, but I hope this helps... And I hope you work things out

[biteme]

It obviously isn't fair at all.

Talk about this with him, and if he still resists, dump him. I'm sure he's probably cheating on you with one of his girlfriends already. You can trust him to go out, but he can't trust you?

[Rashella]

No it's not fair at all.

Don't let him push you around with the threat of dumping you. You can't let him always get his own way as the more he does the more he will expect to in the future. You are 15 you should be going out with friends and having a good time, just remind him of this.

Have you ever given him reason to distrust you? If you have he has got the right to feel a bit uneasy but not this possessive. If you have never cheated or anything just remind him of this whenever you want to go out. Assure him you don't want anyone else but him but you get bored sitting at home on your own when he's out partying, and yet you don't bombard him with phonecalls demanding to know if he's with other girls. Just say to him that you trust him and give him freedom, you expect the same trust and freedom in return.

Im not sure if this is an option but maybe if you decide to hang around with your friends away from an underage club (at 18 i dont think he could get in) invite him along so he can see what you would be doing. It could put his mind at rest.

Remember he needs to learn to trust you or else this is never going to work out anyway.

[Daniella™]

you should talk to him because no I agree it isn't fair to you. He seems to get easily jealous and a bit controlling.

[nin]

no it isnt fair. i know im just probably repeating what everyone else is saying but you need a social life to. he is possessive and he has no right to control you. how long has it been going on because after just one night of him calling me up when i was out i would end it.

its probably not a nice thing to say or hear but the first thing that went through my head when read your post is that he is probably cheating on you. otherwise he just worries that you may cheat.

just reassure him that you will not cheat otherwise just ignore him and go out

a better option than that is to go somewhere with him like to the movies or just have a quiet night in at your house or just something that you can both do. then he know you arent cheating and you can both still have a good night.

if he still doesnt listen to you thought i would end it.

[Leon]

Your boyfriend is one of those controlling idiots who try and control everything in the relationship, where he can do what he wants when he wants, yet everything you do he has to check first and keep regular updates on what you are doing.

Get rid of him as he won't change, if you're fed up of it.

[J355Y1]

Thanx everyone for your replys.. keep em coming!!

I have tried talking to him, but he doesnt really wanna hear it as his x gf used to say the the same things to him and then she cheated on him, they went out for 2yrs and he cried over her for months. He doesnt want this to happen again, and says he cant bring himself to trust me yet, as my past is not very good either and i did alot of things i regret that he knows about and holds against me.
I would like to go out with my friends and bring him along but my friends do not like him as they believe he is "take me off them" as i spend 99% of my wkends with him.
He agrees that i should be allowed out, but i have to stay at a friends house and PROMISE, i wont go ne where with other boys, then he will occassionally call me just to ask where i am and who i am with.

well ne waiiz i hope that answered some of your questions, and i would really liek it if you had more to say if you commented..
thanx xoxoxoxox

[TQM_Leydi]

Well, if you did things in the past and he now knows about them, then I can see why he has a hard time trusting you.

But in other words, if you like being with him, try and do everything possible to stay with him.
If you feel the other way then I think you're going to have dump him.

[Leon]

I have tried talking to him, but he doesnt really wanna hear it as his x gf used to say the the same things to him and then she cheated on him, they went out for 2yrs and he cried over her for months. He doesnt want this to happen again, and says he cant bring himself to trust me yet, as my past is not very good either and i did alot of things i regret that he knows about and holds against me.
I would like to go out with my friends and bring him along but my friends do not like him as they believe he is "take me off them" as i spend 99% of my wkends with him.
He agrees that i should be allowed out, but i have to stay at a friends house and PROMISE, i wont go ne where with other boys, then he will occassionally call me just to ask where i am and who i am with.Please listen to yourself and read the red bold text, he can't hold things against you that you've done in the past with ex's as they have nothing to do with him. He says he can't trust you, that really shows how much you mean to him. And the very first line is just ridiculous, he doesn't even want to talk about it, just because a girl did that before has nothing to do with you and you shouldn't be judged on someone else's actions.

As for the bit in blue, he's still checking up on you and he will do it more than he says, he's still being too controlling. I wouldn't stand for it if I was you.

[J355Y1]

Guess wat everyone!!
His learning.. i go out wit ma friends quiet alot now and he doesnt botha me or even call me .. and if sumthin bad happens.. i tell him and his fine wit it :D
im very happy with the waii things are going and how he has learnt he cant keep me home :D
thanx for your help everyone xoxoxox

[Leon]

That's good then.

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

He's a fucking asshole and a retard and you don't need to put up with that garbage.
I highly strongly suggest you just dump his ass. The sooner the better.
And never talk to him again. You don't need to put up with it, like I said. But if you continue to put up with it and you don't dump him you're an idiot.

[Leon]

He's a fucking asshole and a retard and you don't need to put up with that garbage.
I highly strongly suggest you just dump his ass. The sooner the better.
And never talk to him again. You don't need to put up with it, like I said. But if you continue to put up with it and you don't dump him you're an idiot.I'm glad you bothered to read post number 11 before you wrote that.

[sweet8060]

He is too insecure for you. You can't make him trust you if he doesn't want to trust you. I say you just leave him. Yes I know this is hard to do but it is what is best.

[sweet8060]

Guess wat everyone!!
His learning.. i go out wit ma friends quiet alot now and he doesnt botha me or even call me .. and if sumthin bad happens.. i tell him and his fine wit it :D
im very happy with the waii things are going and how he has learnt he cant keep me home :D
thanx for your help everyone xoxoxox


aww that is awesome I'm happy for you !!!

[VraiCanon]

Yeah so he's letting you out more now... Wait till he starts getting paranoid again.
I'd get rid & be single. You've got plenty of time for a boyfriend, so enjoy yourself as much as possible because from the sounds you enjoy your friends company far more than your boyfriends.

[J355Y1]

Yeah so he's letting you out more now... Wait till he starts getting paranoid again.
I'd get rid & be single. You've got plenty of time for a boyfriend, so enjoy yourself as much as possible because from the sounds you enjoy your friends company far more than your boyfriends.

he is my first real boyfriend and i like having one, i didnt like single life..
Also i hav enjoyed myself plenty of the last couple of years.. parties every wkend.. underage clubbing every holis... party, party, party.. im sorta over it now.. its the same thing everytime.. id like to keep quiet for a wile..
Id much rather be home with my boyfriend watching movies and just chilling..
Also i would deff much rather hang with my boyfriend then my friends.. waii prefer him!!