Heeelllppp

[lucille]

I am two more meals away from killing my grandmother.

This isn't good because i have a feeling that old-people murderers are in the same class at pedophiles in jail, they won't like me in there. She hasn't spoken to me since last night (its 4pm here) because i wouldn't eat these chinese mixed vegetables she ordered for me. I TOLD her i didn't like chinese food but she of course didn't listen, now she is calling me an ungrateful skeleton and leaves the room every time i enter...i'm crossed of The Will list now.

Argghh i also had a nervous breakdown yesterday because they're so disgusting, i opened the fridge and it looked like one, huge decomposing mess, i swear flies literally came out of the fridge, but if i were to throw away one of those rotting apples BOY would i get it from her.

I need sweet things to say to this woman, because if i don't i may find myself with a knife in my hand and that is not the kind of holiday i was intending to have, this year.

[Kate]

Muahahah. Can I come join you dear?
And we can tackle Le beast together?

Canadian old hag VS Pinky and The Brain.

[Menace]

You can't reason with a person like her, I'd just go to an isolated little comfort zone and thank god for making me superior in thought. :D

[Insomniac]

Threaten her, say you'll stick her in an old folks home, that should scare her and she would start treating you better ;)

[Jasper]

Don't come round one day until one hour and one minutes after you say you will - and don't answer your phone when she rings.

That'll scare her up a little.. enough to appreciate you more and stop forcing mixed vegetables down your throat.

Haha.. good luck.

[Bob!]

Rofl, do like the evil old couple do in one o those Rold Dahl books to toy with her mind, (Probs spelled wrong but cba to check) where one saws chunks off the legs of the others chair now and then to make em feel theyre gradually shrinkin every day. :D

[VampyrMaggot]

:O! Bob you're a genie's arse.....The Twit totally rule :P only really works if she uses a walking stick, though....saw chunks off the chair legs, then stick em on the end of the walking stick :D

*goes off to read Roald Dahl books again

[lucille]

today i innocently walked out to the pool, when the evil bitch lunged towards me, NAKED and asked me to go fetch her bra (this woman must be about 300 pounds)

i dont know how much longer i can go on here, this force of evil cannot be stopped with threats

[Insomniac]

Do you want to be part of the will? Control yourself, keep cool and stay calm :P
Or just lash out completly and tell her what an evil old witch she truly is ;)

[*Jess*]

Rofl, do like the evil old couple do in one o those Rold Dahl books to toy with her mind, (Probs spelled wrong but cba to check) where one saws chunks off the legs of the others chair now and then to make em feel theyre gradually shrinkin every day. :D

That book ruled!
:D


Also, I feel sorry for you with the whole thing, especially her launching her naked self at you. That must have been deeply traumatising.

[Wacko1574]

wow...well did u try telling her ...reasoning with her...:)....i mean it couldn't possibly only because of Chinese food..could it??

[Inspirational]

If I were you I'd just say to her, quite firmly, something like 'Look, I'm sorry that I didn't like the vegetables, but I did tell you that I didn't like chinese food. So sorry that it upset you, but what did you expect me to do?'

Something along those lines should come across as an atempt at reasoning with her.

:)

Hope this helps.

[lucille]

wow...well did u try telling her ...reasoning with her...:)....i mean it couldn't possibly only because of Chinese food..could it??

Oh of course not, that would be ridiculous.

I wouldn't eat her cupcake either.

[Wacko1574]

then maybe you should...i suppose:)...it did work with my grandma once

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

Maybe you should kill her.
Nobody has to know...

[Leon]

...or not.

[lucille]

EVERYBODY would know my grandma was like the Canadian, slightly chubbier Paris Hilton back in her day. Everybody in Vancouver knows and despises her.

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

Hmm...then stick her in an old folk's home.
Hehehe.