Holiday been shit

[X-Mark]

Hey, I've just gone through my holiday feelin so depressed at times because like in my previous thred I'm havin problems with my gf and I really don't want to lose her cos I love her 2 bits. Also found out just before my holidays my dad is movin 2 cyprus wi my step mum, and I kinda took the news badly. I coudn't get to sleep for days after and I cut myself. I still have problems wi it now.

And just before my bday My grandad had a heart attack and I don't know how he is. Its just all gettin to me and When I'm alone in my house or goin 2 work or whatever I would just get really depressed and at times cry (I'm not really the crying type) and at one point were gonna do somethin a bit silly. Its just not like me tho I tend to be hyper and up for a laugh, and my family and friends have noticed that I'm not as vibrent or loud as I used 2 be. I just feel so shit all time.

And I try to put on a kind of mask so ppl don't see my real emotions. It had been a really shit holiday for me and its all gettin 2 me I don't know what 2 do. I don't know how I will cope nxt year when I might be movin 2 uni. Cos If I'm still wi ellen (gf) I won't see her and also my little brother I won't be there for his 3rd birthday. I don't even know if he will recognise me when I see him. Also not seein ppl who I grew up wi. It will literly be like a blank slate. It were only other week when I nearlly jumped off a bridge (yeh again not like me) but I coudn't do it. I just thought bout the ppl who I had helped in past and they have helped me. Also me family. I just don't know how to stop all this me feelin like a twat sort of thing.

[wballstars]

Im the other side of this. My holidays have been one of the best theve ever been, ivehad a gf the whole time, had ftriends around me, and been out every single day. Now its all gone! All ym friends live to far away, some of my closest friends are or may not be going back to college, i losy my gf which hitme hard, and now my bf is going to the army soon! What the hell i can do..i dunno. killing or hurting myself i do know..is defantly not going to help me though, spose you just gotta move forward and get on with things, see where things go and hope someone new comes into your life somehow!

[*Jess*]

Hey, I've just gone through my holiday feelin so depressed at times because like in my previous thred I'm havin problems with my gf and I really don't want to lose her cos I love her 2 bits. Also found out just before my holidays my dad is movin 2 cyprus wi my step mum, and I kinda took the news badly. I coudn't get to sleep for days after and I cut myself. I still have problems wi it now.

And just before my bday My grandad had a heart attack and I don't know how he is. Its just all gettin to me and When I'm alone in my house or goin 2 work or whatever I would just get really depressed and at times cry (I'm not really the crying type) and at one point were gonna do somethin a bit silly. Its just not like me tho I tend to be hyper and up for a laugh, and my family and friends have noticed that I'm not as vibrent or loud as I used 2 be. I just feel so shit all time.

And I try to put on a kind of mask so ppl don't see my real emotions. It had been a really shit holiday for me and its all gettin 2 me I don't know what 2 do. I don't know how I will cope nxt year when I might be movin 2 uni. Cos If I'm still wi ellen (gf) I won't see her and also my little brother I won't be there for his 3rd birthday. I don't even know if he will recognise me when I see him. Also not seein ppl who I grew up wi. It will literly be like a blank slate. It were only other week when I nearlly jumped off a bridge (yeh again not like me) but I coudn't do it. I just thought bout the ppl who I had helped in past and they have helped me. Also me family. I just don't know how to stop all this me feelin like a twat sort of thing.


It sounds like you're going through a rough patch indeed. We all have those, some aren't as bad as others, but a lot happen through things like the summer because we have a lot more time to brood, and there is a lot more time for things to happen and people to fall out.

Don't feel like you're silly for being upset, and don't try to end your life because of it. As you said, its like a blank slate. This can often be a good thing, as it breaks you out of an old routine but often for something better and sometimes without losing too many good things about your old life. If things don't go well with your girlfriend, then there are always opportunities for a new one when you go to uni and although you love her, life goes on and you shouldn't end it. Also, you'll get new friends at university, and you'll still be able to keep in contact with the old, it'll be the best of both worlds. University life is intimidating, especially when you have to leave friends and family. But I speak from experience, as when my brother went to university he loved it, he came home a new, happier person and with far more confidence. He had a lot of new friends and did keep in contact with the old. He also was better to spend time with, we'd bicker and argue in each others company and would take it for granted so much we never spoke. Although he missed me and the rest of my family, obviously. Your brother won't forget you, he'll love you. Kids also recognise faces of their family, their mums and dads and siblings. You'll be the cool big brother as when you come back you'll make a fuss of him and your parents will make a fuss of the time you are home.

Also, as to the thing about your mother moving, have you expressed your concerns to them? they may try to find ways to make it easier for you, like set a room up for visits etc.

[X-Mark]

I've not really said any of this 2 anyone. my dad dun't know how bad I felt when he told me and Ellen (gf) dun't know that I were gonna jump off a bridge. I were goin 2 tell her yday cos we had some time alone but all she did were sleep lol. Also I coudn't bring myself to do it.

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

It's good you stopped yourself from jumping off a bridge because that is definitely not the best way to solve things. There's always a better solution than killing yourself, and if you're doing it to kill the pain there are other ways. If you're doing it just for the attention, it won't work because my ex killed himself just recently I couldn't care less because it's an act of selfishness and it disgusts me, and I have absolutely no respect for people who kill themselves, nor do I have sympathy for them.
I think you should try opening up to your Girlfriend or a close friend or family member because I tried that when I was suicidal four years or so back, and I opened up to my mom she's like my best friend now and my dad, and it made me feel so much better and just knowing I could trust people and had someone there for me like we all do, remember that, it made me feel better and more confident that I could talk about my problems. You'll feel better if you get some help for this because trust me, we all have our problems and it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
Cutting yourself I understand is a way to soothe the pain because I used to do it all the time but I stopped because I love myself and my life now and things got better because I realised there are people who care for me I fought that depression because it's all it is is trying to break you down you can't let it win you have to gight it, and cutting doesn't do anything but draw negative attention to yourself. I looked around me, realised people have it ALOT worse than me, and that I have it pretty good and things aren't always as gloomy as they appear to be.
Sometimes life is hard but you have to stick through the rough patches. It's like a stone, just takes some time to smoothe out the bumpy parts and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You have to roll with the punches sometimes, just not give up.
If you give up, then you're giving up on everything you could become and more. And that's not cool.

[VraiCanon]

Right Max. For a start, get rid of Ellen. I'm not being funny but even when we were out for your birthday she was treating you like shit. You can do better, you're a nice guy.
All she's doing is making you miserable. I think we need a chat at college! Hopefully we'll be in the same Sociology class :)
You will be able to go and visit your Dad :) and just think; free holidays! There's always a silver lining. :]
As for cutting yourself, I know it's hard, I have been in that situation before but it really doesn't make a situation any better. You will come to realize this.
I'll pray for your Grandad. :]
My Nannan died recently from a heart attack, but when I think about it I know she's had a good life and she was happy, and I know she wouldn't want be worrying so I try not to get upset about it. I'm sure she's in a better place. :]
I have noticed you've been abit off recently but I'd still say you're your usual cheery self, like on your birthday :D chasing everyone around haha, that was fun.!
Just go out with your mates, talk to Ellen about it, try talking to someone you know will cheer you up etc and help you out, a real friend. That always helps :]
And I'll always be there to give you a big grin at college. :D