My dad.

[23232323x]

(This could be long, sorry...)

Was diagnosed with Severe depression a week ago.
He has not been sleeping very well.
He would go to bed at 11pm, wake up at 2am then not fall asleep until 6am,
which he has to get up at 6.30 to go to work.

He has been to the doctor;
because he was a smoker and alchoholic, did some tests on his lungs & liver.
He is also on a anti-depressant called Escitalopram (Esipram) -

I was just wondering if anyone knew anything about it?
Or you could give me any tips on living with him?

It's kind of like I have to walk on eggshells.

He has been like this all year,
My parents are splitting up.
My mother is living in another state.
Before she left, before july 3rd, he was drinking everyday.
He would come back after work at 7 am (nightshift) and just drink until he would go to bed at about 12. He would usually drink straight vodka. At one point he even had vodka that he called his "super drink" 70% alcohol, i believe.
My dad is a shift worker so he finds it hard to work and look after me and my brothers. It's almost like he can't stand the responsibility sometimes aswell.
He doesn't like it when I go out, even though i hardly ever go out.
He says I should be studying or doing cleaning. I have been planning and cooking dinner everynight since I came back from a holiday on the 15th of july.


I have started to feel like not going out anymore, even though i'm always lonely.
When I'm out I want to go home, but I don't. If that makes sense.

I am also sure my friends have given up on me coz when they ask me, I
say I can't and now they just don't invite me anymore.

With everything that goes on, I feel like I'm the Mother.
My brothers, 17 & 20 years don't help much with the cooking and when I pick something and cook it, they sometimes say stuff like "this is disgusting, what made you choose this?" or "we had this just a few days ago/last week."



Any help would be appreciated..

[misarable_babe]

...sigh
i m so sorry to hear that
i think u should discuss that with ur family...

[xXxEmo_DaisyxXx]

same as the above..you should really sit down with your dad and talk about his drinking....if i were you i would put all his drinks down the drain and when he comes in talk to him...and you should also ask your brothers to pull their fingers out of their arses because its not fair that your acting like mother to them.they are both older than you and your cooking them dinner..thats not right...they should be looking after them selves...you should take some tym for you self

[Rashella]

Well i wouldn't over nag your dad about the drinking too badly but you could try dropping a hint or two, yes. Sadly i don't know much about severe depression so i don't know if its drink related or not, but my mum drinks alot, so i know its hard living with it, you just have to do the best you can because in the end, you can nag and bitch at them constantly but if they don't want to give it up, they won't.

He could go to the doctors for the problems sleeping, they could probably help prescribe something. If he drinks to help himself sleep this could help alot with both issues.

On the cleaning front i agree with emodaisy, tell your brothers to get of their asses and cook themselves. To give your dad a break you should arrange to take turns cooking for the family and divide the cleaning too, your the youngest you shouldn't have the responsibility of playing mother on your shoulders. If your brothers refuse then just don't bother cooking for them, i know it sounds harsh but they've got to help you out, it isn't fair on you.

[saraharms1]

Both my parents are alocoholics but they're divorced too so I only have to put up with one at a time. Don't approach your dad harshly if you decide to say something to him. I advise you not to. Alcoholics can get defencive and angry at lightning speed. No joke there at all. As for your brothers you should tell them to do the cooking for a change. Your 14 and should be living life. Us teenagers shouldn't have to deal with the burden of careing for our familys. I know exactly how your feeling. I don't have to take care of my brother anymore cuz he moved out. Don't let your dad hold you back from life. He's not gonna get better until he thinks something is wrong... until then... I think you should find out where your local Ala-teen group is. You should google it. Its a teenage version of ala-non. Its for people who have someone close to them thats an alcoholic or substance abuser. Mine parents are both. I went to Ala-teen for almost a year and just stopped going cuz my scedual got busier but I really suggest it. You sit in a group of teens who go through the same thing your going through. They were like my 2nd family there. Find one in your local area and try to get there for the meetings.



Sarah

[Jekyll-Hyde]

Personally, I don't think it's right for his wife to leave him. She should be giving him support and trying to help him through this state as a family. Try to speak with him. In the end, it'll be his choice whether he wants to stop drinking but even if he doesn't respond, every little helps. At least he'll know how you're feeling. As for your brothers, they need to contribute and if they don't like your cooking then they should definitely do the cooking! Otherwise, it's a bit selfish if they stick up their nose when you've tried your best to contribute =]