Would really appreciate some advice!

[emmalea123]

My situation at the moment is a bit complicated. I met this really great guy and have known him for a long time. I met him through one of my ex boyfriend's, but we never really got to know each other that well. Over the past month he and I got a lot closer and kissed...a lot.

He started hanging around with me and my friends all the time and we were acting like we were in a relationship. It was a kind of "friends with benefits" thing going on, and at first when it started we had discussed that we were just really good friends who kissed each other and cared about each other a lot and that's all we wanted to be.

Then my heart got in the way and i started to have feelings for him and he told me he returned these feelings. However he also liked another girl who was a lot younger than me and he had never met her.

Eventually he started dating her. I was so angry and upset that i had let myself get so attached but he and I still stayed friends and my feelings for him grew. Now he says he is in love with a girl who lives in Ireland and has never met. He has only known her for a few months!

I guess the thing i need advice on is what should i do? I mean i can't just stop loving him it dosn't work. I really want to be with him but he just sends me mixed signals all the time! He is a "ladies man" kind of guy which makes matters worse.

I have a really bad record with relationships. I always get hurt in them. I seem to be attracted to the "wrong sort" if ya get what i mean.

Can someone offer some advice as to what they think i should do in this difficult situation. All of this with him is really getting to me :[.

Thank you.

[fraggled]

A "ladies man"? First of all, it doesn't take physical attraction to be in love. So if you think this, stop there and re-evaluate the word "Love". Love has nothing to do with physical attraction. It really depends on if she is lying to him. And no, not everybody online lies, the truth of it is, most people actually show the true side of themselves online. If she isn't then it could be "True" as true as love gets in this world of "un-ordinary" things. A million miles away or not, it can happen. The problem is you have attached yourself and hung on to somebody who is not willing to hang on for you. Is it worth it? A million miles or not, if he couldn't be faithful to you then he couldn't be faithful to her, so don't worry, it will fail eventually. Especially if he told you that he "returned those mutual feelings". The choice really is what you do, you can hang on or you can walk away. Only you can answer that. The worst thing to do is try and break it up. You can lose a good friend that way. It is better to have loved and lost then to have not loved at all.

Months is a good question, you need to further define months in order to properly say "he knows her" or "doesn't know her". If he has known her for more then a few months then he might know her well, especially if they talked constantly. This happens too, refer to the above. If you don't believe me, then understand, I speak to clients and people online and they always say, I am the same exact asshole online that I am in person. Except, I tend to be more blunt.

You need to separate yourself from him for a while and think about what you should do, you know all the answers because you have asked all the right questions, and I'm sure there is a lot you aren't telling. Only you can answer the questions you ask. If he is worth it, then wait, if hes not then don't wait. You should evaluate the situation for yourself.