Orgasm troubles...

[-the-1-for-him-]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months now. We are very serious, and love one another. We've been haveing sex for about 6 months now. He was my first... I've never had an orgasm with him!!! I can if I masturbate, but just not while we're having sex. Is it intimacy problems, or is he just not getting the job done? I don't know how to tell him I've been faking this whole time. I'm pretty sure he would be pissed and possible break up with me, because making love to me is a big deal to him. He feels satisfied when he feels like hes pleasuring me... I don't Know what to do...

[Innamorata]

I wouldn't recommend lying to him about this but I can see why you've done it. What makes you orgasm when you masturbate? If you know, try incorporating it into sex. If that doesn't work, try experimenting. A new position or a new toy could help. Maybe it's that you're worried about upsetting your boyfriend if you don't come, if so, try and relax. It's completely normal for women to have trouble orgasming, they're designed to take a while. Only about 5% of women can come through penetration alone, the rest need other stimulation, such as kissing, having your clitoris stimulated, your nipples stimulated or other areas. The best thing for you to do is experiment and see what feels good, I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind. Sex should last a while, women generally take at least half an hour to get turned on so much that they orgasm. Foreplay should last as long as YOU want it to, this can include kissing, massage, petting etc. Once you feel really turned on, then try having sex but remember to do other things at the same time. You could try getting your boyfriend to massage your breasts or stimulate your clitoris. One good position to try is the CAT (coital alignment) position. http://www.estronaut.com/a/coital_align_technique.htm Sorry if this has been a bit long winded, but feel free to PM me if you need any more information or suggestions :)

[agent10ve]

First of all, lying about having orgasms is the worst thing you could do. Nothing is ever going to change if he thinks its all fine and dandy! Second of all, sex is a two person deal. "It takes two to tango..." It's not his fault you're not cumming, but its not yours either. It's a mutual thing. You need to learn what gets you off! Half of it is being totally in the mood (aroused) and the other half is technique. Like said above, most woman can't orgasm without clit stimulation so if you aren't doing that you should start. Adding lubrication could also help, if you don't use it already. Maybe try some special condoms, like ribbed ones, if you use condoms. Experiment, and tell your guy you want to try some new stuff. Also- if you don't masturbate, start. Knowing your own body as best as you can will make it easier for you to show him what you like and dont like. Good luck!

[llerenaprincipe]

i'd be pissed if my "gf"(dont have one tho) would tell me she's been fakin it
so don't do it

[Guest27]

Alright, you should never have pretended to orgasm if you didn't. But now that it's done, don't admit it. Tell him you've started having problems orgasming. "It just isn't happening anymore". And then experiment. As suggested, incorporate what you do when you masturbate. You'll probably need clitoral stimulation, about 2/3 of women who actually orgasm do so via the clitoris. Just be honest with him from now on, and *work together* to actually acheive orgasm, and just have fun experimenting. Good luck.