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View Full Version : I Hate My Mother (Very Long Post)



Sneaky
February 10th '08, 02:09 AM
Okay, well, I've talked to lots of my friends (and by talked, I mean ranted) about how much my Mom drives me insane. So here goes, I guess...

My mom moved out (or as she would put it, was "asked to leave" by my father. It is, at this point, very hard to get any legitimate information from my family without having to go through painful discussions...) and that was the start of my freshman year in HS (last year) and so I was..pissed, I guess you could say. Not at my Dad, I love my Dad totally, but because I was (am) basically, a little spoiled kid. It is at this point you can feel free to hate me, but that's what I am, spoiled, and sort of an idiot. I had no idea how to take care of ANYTHING (I coudn't cook anything other than...uh...like chicken in a pan with canned alfredo sauce.) and we live in a big house. As well, my brother was a senior (so he was pretty much independant and liked to make huge messes then just dissapear until 2am) and my Dad traveled a lot. So basically, it was made clear to me that I had to take care of everything.

Now my parents were seperated, and so I'd pushed that to the back of my mind. Of course, when all this was going on, I had marching band, which took up 99.99% of all of my free time. Add on HS work (which was a lot more than middle school) and by October I'd gone from pissed to completely and utterly depressed, and my mother wasn't making it any better. She would show up and go on yellling sprees about how my brother was becoming irresponsible, and how I needed to clean/cook/take care of everyone much better.

Then of course, there were times when my Dad would travel for a week, so I had to stay at her house. She lives in a townhouse, very small, with walls so thin you could hear someone pee in the downstairs bathroom. I always felt trapped and she kept asking me to move in with her, and she kept trying to turn me against my Dad, like he was a bad guy or something. When that didn't work, she insisted that he didn't need me, he could handle himself. When that didn't work, she found ways to force me over to her house, and kept guilting me into spending time with her.

The more time I spent with her, the more I HATED her. Everything about her. The gross way she talks to me and I can just see how fake her emotions are. She's also very...touchy. There was a big thunderstorm one day, and she CRAWLED INTO MY BED and tried to like...spoon me or something! She was right up against my back and I was basically SCREAMING at her to leave my room and she wouldn't. On top of which, she would come over to my Dad's house and lay down in my bed, or she would go into my bathroom and start like, fixing her hair or using my toilet or something! She even shows up in my classes, volunteering to help with band work whenever she can, chaperoning trips, and even coming to all of our concerts! I know that you might think "oh yeah, an involved parent!" but she'll be talking to my friends and telling them that I'm a bad person! She once told my best friend that she wouldn't be friends with me if she were my age!

On top of which, my mother tells all of my business to people who don't need to know. I went to the hospital recently for very embaressing and serious reasons and she told this woman who I don't even know about it on top of our relatives. When me and my father were ripped off during vacation, I got a phone call on the house phone from some relative I hadn't met since I was five who gave me a lecture on "leaving things in cars."
What the heck!? I used to tell my mother everything like girls are supposed to, but she would ALWAYS end up making me cry and making me feel like total and complete shit, then "comforting" me to make me think that I could go to her. As I got older, I just began to feel manipulated.

As it stands, the sight of her makes me ENRAGED. Serious I want to explode anger. She showed up at a Jazz Band festival today, and she started dancing in front of all my friends (she dances like an old whore, and dresses like a twelve year old.) and I just wanted to shoot myself. The last time I stayed at her house, I seriously contemplated jumping out of the window and running away. (it's about a nine foot drop into soft ..uh..what is it? it's stuff that you put over dirt lawns..pine needles?) Whenever she hugs/kisses/touches me I feel molested (seriously) and violated and I want to punch her. (she honestly acts like a pedophile. She once commented that I had "big hips" and that that was a "good thing." As well, she makes friends with people who have small children, and insists on buying them toys and spending time with them. She had to hem a dress I have to wear, and she stopped and looked me over and said "you have a nice body." She calls me pretty all the time, but the way she says it makes me want to throw up in my mouth.) I honestly can't stand her, and it's getting worse and worse, but my Dad is still in love with her. If he would just get a girlfriend, then I could just tell him that I hate her, but I just don't know how to explain it. I feel like one day I'm going to go completely off the hinge on her, but then Dad will be so mad at me, and I don't know what to do...

...help?

Brianna.
February 10th '08, 03:52 AM
Everyone, at some point, has loathed a parent. You had a lot of responsibility forced on you at a young age, and trust me, I know how bad that blows. My mom has a lot of similar issues...but thankfully, she lives on the other side of the country.

The only thing I can think to tell you is to sit down and tell her how she makes you feel. She might not realize it. I know that's a daunting task, but it might have some amazing effects. Just be honest with her, and tell her you're angry at her for making you grow up so fast.

Keep in mind you're almost done. You have a few more years in high school, then it's off to college. You'll be on your own, and you can start focusing on your own life and goals.

Sweetest.x.Sin
February 13th '08, 02:24 AM
Wow, she tries to spoon you and dances in front of your friends? That's certainly creepy and I can understand why you're annoyed, but you don't hate her. There is never a reason to hate your parents, but everyone has at some time and so have I but that's something you grow out of so I'm in no way judging you for that.
I think your mom is lonely from the break-up and your parents splitting up, it eventually gets better the pain goes away, but she's lonely and wants to be involved in your life some more.
I think you need to have a sit-down with her and tell her how you're feeling and tell her you want her to get her own life and leave you alone for awhile and stop freaking you out.

Kate
February 13th '08, 01:45 PM
There is never a reason to hate your parents

Really? So if they beat up/murder your other parent, and rape/hit/stab you, you still can't justify hating them? Wow. Danke.

iaxa
February 19th '08, 06:18 AM
lol. @ kate i have a similar sort of thing with my dad cept with pedophilia
(replaced by fist fights), dancing in front of friends well erm he does that but in a humorous kinda way.

just tell your dad how you feel if your not happy with something always tell them how you feel else they cant understand whats going on inside our crazy hormone driven heads lol. trust me it is so hard to tell them , when u do it though things become alot better over time . well it did for me :)