My friend..

[Buttons93]

My friend is texting me, telling me he wouldn't give a shit if he was hit by a bus. I can't ring him and I've got no way of getting to where he is as he is at work, but he is really worrying me. I keep pointing out it's not worth ending your life over a girl [it's due to his girlfriend that he feels like this] but he keeps saying it is and all his problems will be over. I've had 2 people I know commit suicide but they weren't close to me. This guy is very close to me though and I don't know what do. He's felt suicidal before but it's never been as bad as this, I've been able to talk him round it within about an hour, it's been 3 hours since the first text and he's still saying 'The bus looks good'. I'm really close to tears because I have a bad feeling he will carry this threat out, I don't want to lose him and neither does anyone else. Any ideas what I can do?!

[nyx]

Why can't you ring him?

Seriously you NEED to get in contact with him. When I was in France a few years back my best friend tried to kill himself. I knew he'd been bad before I left, but it was a family holiday I couldn't really cancel it. I got a text from one of my other friends a couple of days before he tried saying they were really worried about him. Foolishly I didn't go home. I don't believe in regrets, but if I had one that would definitely be top of the list.
All I can really say is thank god he failed.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try and get in contact with him some way, more substantially than texts if you can. I really don't want you to be in the situation I was nearly in.

[Tamsin (:]

Is there anyway you can ring him? You need to contact him, and it'd be easier to work out his exact state of mind if you're on the phone or in person. And is there absolutely no way you can get to where he is or anything? As long as you don't think that this will make it any worse, you need to like get him to talk to you about why he wants to do this, he might feel differently once he's talked it through. You DO need to get him on the phone though, and just keep him talking. And remind him why he absolutely shouldn't end his life. This happened to a friend of a friend, I didn't know the person who was feeling suicidal, but my friend was really worried about her. She just had to ring her and keep her on the phone, and they talked through it and she realised it wasn't worth ending her life.

But you really need to ring him, or get him to ring you or something.

[Buttons93]

I can't phone him or get him to phone me because he is at work and he is not meant to have his phone on. I tried to ring him when he first sent it and he said that if I want to talk to him on the phone I will have to wait till 5pm. I've text his friend who works at the same place as him, telling her to keep an eye on him and she's said she will but I'm worried about him driving home. It's not ideal trying to stop this by text but it's the only way I can keep talking to him. If he doesn't reply within 10 mins I get really worried that it's too late.

[Tamsin (:]

You just need to try and keep talking to him, and also keep in contact with his friend who's there, to see if anything's changed. Just keep reminding him of why he SHOULDN'T do it, and what's good in his life. Honestly, I think that's all you can do. Just keep talking to him and hopefully he'll realise. Sorry I can't be any more help than that :(

[nyx]

Well he's not gonna be abl to do anything at work I wouldn' have thought, and if thers someone keeping an eye on him thats all you can do.
Just make sure you ring him bang on 5 o clock.
Thats hell that you have to just sit there waiting.
Just keep texting him, about anything you can think of really, just so he keeps responding. Then when you can ring him, and keep him talking. As you've said you've managed to talk him out of it before so you know what to say to an extent.
Then I guess when it blows over (which hopefully it will), talk him into going to see a counsellor or something.
It sounds mad, but try not to worry about it too much. Just keep trying :)
And if you need to talk send me a PM or whatever.
Stay strong for him!

[Buttons93]

Thanks both of you, yeah its horrible just being here, I feel so useless! I know of ways I can talk him out of it but it's just hard to tell him through text, I'm crap at putting things into words, it's hard enough on the phone but even harder in text. I'm going to force him to go to a counsellor, he really needs help .. I've tried my best to help him but he needs proper help now I think. I'm literally counting down the minutes till I can talk to him on the phone, I'm going to try to get him to meet me somewhere so we can talk face-to-face about it. He bottles everything up and won't tell anyone what is wrong so it's hard to get the full picture. But I'm starting to repeat things to him now because I can't put anything else into a text..

[Tamsin (:]

I know it must be hard for you, and the toughest thing is the wait...it'll feel like HOURS before 5pm comes, but you really just have to sit it out :( And I agree with the counsellor thing, that could really help. And before he gets all that sorted, just talk to him when you next can, and help him try and get things sorted in his head, he might find that that helps a bit. Aswell with the bottling up thing, you need to talk to him and really try and get him to open up, or get someone else to get him to open up. I think that a lot of people who feel this way just really need to get things off their chests, and then it seems easier. Aswell, some people think this is a stupid idea, but my friend's friend who I was talking about earlier...after it'd all blown over a bit, she just wrote down how she felt. She didn't show anyone, but apparently it just made things a bit clearer in her head, 'cos she felt she couldn't talk to anyone. And remember I'm here too if you wanna talk or anything :)

[Buttons93]

Okay .. I rang him and we were talking for about 20 minutes and then he said 'I'm sorry, I've got to go' and put the phone down. I've tried ringing him back and texting him but he's ignoring them both. I don't know what to do now, I'm in a complete state. I really don't want him to do anything stupid!!

[Tamsin (:]

Is he with anyone or do you know where he is? Just keep texting and ringing, there's really nothing more you can do I don't think. As hard as it seems, try not to get in too much of a state about it, I know it's hard but just keep trying

[Buttons93]

I don't know who he's with or where he is because I can't get in contact with him. I might try to get in contact with his girlfriend somehow?...

[Tamsin (:]

Yeah that'd be a good idea if you could. I'm guessing she knows about all this? Where was he when you were on the phone to him? Didn't you say he finished work at 5pm or something, so I was wondering if he was at home or whatever. But yeah, try and contact his girlfriend, and both try and get hold of him

[Buttons93]

He was at home, he came on MSN and I was talking for a bit on there then I thought this isn't getting us anywhere so I rang him. Whilst I was on the phone to him, he signed off MSN and then put down the phone.

[Tamsin (:]

Have you managed to get hold of his girlfriend - perhaps she can speak to him? Does he seem to feel any better than he did earlier? I dunno what else to say really other than what I've said already...I hope you get hold of him soon :)

[VraiCanon]

Can't you go round to his house and see him?
You just need to be there for him really, there isn't really anything else you can do.
I don't know what else to suggest other than be there when he needs to talk.

[Buttons93]

Umm .. I would if it was as simple as that. For a start I doubt he is actually at his house, it takes about 20 mins to get there and my mum wouldn't take me because she hates his guts.

[Tamsin (:]

Surely your mum would understand if you explained the situation to her? Then again, I don't think I'd tell my mum one of my friends was feeling suicidal so I don't know...

[adam_smith]

that terrible to hear Tami i kinda know what he feels like though
the best you can do is be the best friend that you can be and make sure he dosnt do anything stupid

i know you can do that Tami (Y)

[Buttons93]

Thanks, I know he's still alive as he sent me a text yesterday but he won't really talk to me much so it's hard to stop him but I'm trying my best.

[Tamsin (:]

Thanks, I know he's still alive as he sent me a text yesterday but he won't really talk to me much so it's hard to stop him but I'm trying my best.

Which is all you can do :)

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

If he's going through a tough time with her and she's making him feel like shit then why doesn't he just block her out from his life completely? It's not worth feeling this way over a girl and you've told him this, and perhaps maybe he'll realise he's being ridiculous.
I've been through this I know people who have said they wanted to jump in front of a bus and such before I actually talked a few people out of suicide and they realised it wasn't worth killing themselves over, but usually they don't carry out that threat I doubt he's going to run outside and jump in front of a bus. It just doesn't look like it's going to happen, even though he is depressed. He'll get over it. He has to sometime.
Just ignore these texts he's sending you and get him some help from an adult or a councillor in School, if you two go to the same School as each other. Someone needs to give him a good talking to.

[Buttons93]

why doesn't he just block her out from his life completely?

It's really not that simple, they've been together for nearly a year, it's just an argument probably but even I don't know what's going on, however what I do know if that by him just blocking him out from his life is not going to help, it will make him worse because the majority of the time, she makes him laugh and cheers him up. I'm sure it's not just due to the whole thing with his girlfriend, I'm pretty sure there are other reasons.


Just ignore these texts he's sending you

I'm the person he's come to, telling how he feels at the moment and instead of being there for him I have to just ignore his texts? .. I'm pretty sure that'll work. NOT. I've told him to go to a counsellor but he won't listen.


He'll get over it. He has to sometime.

Well yeah obviously but surely for the time being I should be there for him, to actually help him get over it instead of just letting him get over it himself. Seriously if I just left him then there's more chance of him carrying out that threat because he'd feel like he'd driven me away and seeing as we're quite close then that's really not a good thing..

[colored_zebra]

and i thought i had problems...