Contraception

[VampyrMaggot]

hey. i was jst wonderin if anyone could give me any input about about my situation.

right, ive bin with my bf 19 months now, we'r both 16 at the mo (but 14 wen we got together) and we always planned to have sex on my 16th bday, so i was legal (but he wasn't, he's a month younger than me. he said a month didn't really matter to him, as long as i was comfortable with it) anyway, it ended up that we did it about a week early, cos my parents were out that day and it seemed right. i don't reget it, i still love him and we'r still together.

since then we've only done it a few times because we dnt feel comfortable doing when other ppl are in the house (parents, etc). but i was tlking to my mate about it the other day, and called me a fool and got really mad at me, cos i only use condoms, not the pill aswell. she lauched into this huge speech about parenting and teenage pregnancy and prices of nappies etc etc, while i happen to know that her and her bf hardly ever use anything at all (but she's allergic to the pill, so she can't use that anyway) and they're not trying for a kid. also, they ain't bin 2gether long, and she doesn't really know much about his previous relationships, so she could catch something or get preggers or both, and yet she's still having a go at me!

anyway......what i really want to ask (although it feels so good to have gotten that off my chest) is do i need to go on the pill and use condoms at the same time? cos neither of our parents actually know (or, at least they ain't said anything so i don't THINK they know) that we've had sex, and im scared that if i go to my GP for the pill, they'll tell my parents or my mum might find them in my room.O_O

any help would be appreicated!

[Bob!]

Well other advice will be best given from other people who have had/are having sex.

But I assume that now you're 16 and if you go to the GP and ask for the pill and request it be kept private, they will not be alloweed to say anything to anyone but you, theyre bound to confidentiality.

[NATAL!E]

Firstly, I think it's really admirable you and your boyfriend have been together so long before having sex, not a lot of couples do that these days, so I think it really proves your resposnsibility and maturity around the subject.

Right, well your friend didn't really have any right to shout at you about something which she doesn't do herself. However, she was probably just looking out for you, which is good in a way, because it shows she really cares about you. Maybe you should mention something to her about what she's doing with her boyfriend and the dangers she's risking.

One of my friends is adamant she's going to use the pill and condoms when she has sex. I think this is pretty correct.. Condoms have about 95% chance of working, the pill had about 87% chance, and together they are about 98%. Obviously, condoms stop STIs and that kind of thing, as well as pregnancy.

It's really up to you what kind of contraception you use, and it would be a good idea to discuss this with your boyfriend. You could also both go and see your family doctor about which way will work best for you. Your doctor is confidential, and cannot tell your mum anything. Also, if you keep the pills in your underwear draw or something, would your mum find them there?

If you want to, you could always just say to her 'I've been to see the doctor, and they've reccommended I go on the pill for my periods' or something.

My mum would probably be really pleased if I confided in her, plus, would your mum not be pleased that she knows for certain you're being careful?

Though ultimately, it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your mum!

[Mikhael]

Condoms are 97 percent efficiant the only reasons they fail is either they havent been put on properly, they have burst ( only happens if the white stuff has no where to go ) or because people wear 2 to be double protected ( dosnt work as the condoms rub and burst )or because the stuff that kills the sperm cells is out of date ( check urs regualy especially if you keep one in your wallet or pocket or NEthing.
Ching

[~Wayne~]

Condoms should suffice as long as you use 'em reyt

[VampyrMaggot]

thanks mikhael, thats great! we'r always really careful they're put on right, and he never wears 2, and ive checked the dates on em, they're all fine. thanks!!!!

[PrincessAlice]

i know who you are talking about alice and i dont think it would be wise to confront her well i wouldn't anyway remember how angry she gets :(, i'd do what ever you feel most comfy with doing... which eva you choose you can feel free to talk to me if you want :)

[VampyrMaggot]

thankies al :) gee, how did u guess???? lol, no, i ain't gonna confront her, i value the use of my legs too much! i think i'l jst keep quiet about it in future, and jst use condoms, as mikhael said.

[Silver_Bullet]

Id say not to do it at all there are alternatives but if your going to at least let someone you trust with it and have them get the pills. Again, my first advice is not to do it at all...

[VampyrMaggot]

y? we're both legal, we were together over a year before we did it, and we still love each other now, we're still in a great, strong, loving relationship. neither of us follow any religion or cultural belief that it is wrong, and lastly, you don't kno me, and you dnt kno my bf, so how can you say its wrong? how come you have the right to judge what we're doing as wrong?

im not havin a go at you, im just asking.

[Bob!]

I think the person wa sayin if ya really concerned about it then its better to lay off till ya get more info, or something lol.

But anyways you have help out longer than most, and done the correct thing by being in a relationship and still being in it, and you are also asking for serious advice, so in you're case you're doing the right thing.

[VampyrMaggot]

thanks bob. meh, it jst really gets me wen ppl judge like that. lol. anyway, i think i have enough info now, i might go on the pill in future, when i get round to telling my parents (when they're in a good mood, or when he's just done something incrediably sweet for me and they're in a good mood with him) anywayz.....thanks every1!

[Lindsay]

having the pill aswell as a condom is much safer. but the pill can have nasty side effects for some people like weight gain. Or it can be wonderful and clear up your skin :)

your GP can't tell anyone anything you tell to him or her because they have some sort of confidentiality thing. And say your mom did find the pills, one would hope she would be happy that you were taking the proper precautions to protect yourself.

[Sponge'K'nob]

I admire that you have only jus have sex and how long you have been together, like nat said, I think its great.
The odds of getting pregnant with a condom is very low. i know that if you use a condom its something like 98% affective and pill is 99% or something like that, obv condom stops STI's.
You don't need to use both, and the pill makes you put weight on etc.
I think if you know about previous relationships or if none of you suffer from STI's then it might be better and easlier to use the pill. less hastle i guess.
If you go to you doctor he will be confidential.
It might be a good idea to talk to your mum, after all you are 16.
good luck anyway

[Guest]

i think its completely up to you. Last year my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time, and only used condoms. one broke on us and i went to a family planning clinic to get the morning after pill, to be safe. my mum doesnt know, although she knows we're having sex. i went on the pill for a bit, as we both got really worried, and told my mum. she was fine with it, and was just happy we were being safe and responsible. but the pill made me feel unwell and i kept getting headaches. so i came off of it.
now we just use condoms, and yeah a couple have broken (even extra safe ones can break! they're crap!) but i've just taken the mornin after pill. its free from family planning clinics so no worries, and if you say your at a friends, theres a big chance your mum wont find out!
hope that helps. and if you can you should tell your mum, and let her know that your being careful and mature about it all. it will stop her over reacting if she ever finds out accidentally!

[linsey_belfast]

Is there not a place called the Brook near you. I know that there is one is all major cities across the UK. Its a place were anyone under the age of 25 can go and seek advice on anything sexually related and receive free contraception, including condoms, the pill, mornin after pil etc..

Cya x