Fitting In/bullying

[Laetitia]

How important is it for you to fit in at school? To what extents would you be willing to go to fit in a clique? How does it make you feel? Does your clique bully other kids? Are you being bullied yourself? Tell me everything...

[clueless]

Fitting in to me would mean being accepted for who i am. I wouldn't ever change who i am to become someone i am not, just to 'fit in a clique'. I have experienced bullying first hand, but thankfully, i am a strong-willed, confident person hence was able to stand up for myself and stop it progressing any further. But unfortunately, not everyone is like me and i know some friends who are bullied relentlessly at school. It's terrible. It's isn't physical bullying that leaves bruises as evidence, but verbal bullying that really brings them down and makes them think so low of themselves. Bullys tend to have two faces. One which is innocent and is shown to everyone. The other, a darker one, only coming out of its closet when faced with their victim.

[Mamfy]

That is everything I could have said. Girls are horrible people sometimes. They can be so innocent and angelic on the top, but then deep down, when they don't like someone or disagree with somethinbg, they turn into a whole different person.

I don't understand the need for cliques because it only separates people into those groups who don't necessarily want to mix with any others. And then what happens iif you fall out with the people involved int hat group? You have no where to go.

[Laetitia]

... what can I say? That's exactly why I chose this topic for my research paper. I went to American schools in middle and high school and now I live in Belgium. I wanted to write about that topic because I was once part of the popular crowd of my school and I thought it was really hard sometimes; some of the girls were real bitches towards others in my school who only just dressed differently or didn't wear the same brands... I felt that if I ever said something to them I'd get rejected from the group so I always just "followed" them around. I know how horrible girls can be towards each other which is why, on my part, I have more male friends than girlfriends. Anyway. In Belgium it's not so bad being in groups, it's less 'clicky' and there is way less emotional bullying amongst the kids. I'm in a Belgian uni, I'm in teacher-training, and I wanted to bring up this subject so people would realize how impotant it is because I'm sure in a few years, the next European high school generations will act just the way Americans do in their high schools (because of movies and music etc).

You girls just proved you feel exactly the way I do about bullying and female behaviour- thanks for sharing your thoughts I really appreciate it. Take care and stay the way you are :)

[Sponge'K'nob]

i myself dont feel that i have to fit in, i dont want to change just to be liked by some people. if they dont like it then fair enough, lukily a lot of people like me for me anyway so i guess i dont have a problem with that. i havn't got any enemies really, i mean some of my friends dont get on, like but everyone talks to me ranging from chavs to emos.
if someone doesnt like the way i am then i wouldn't change to fit in.

[Laetitia]

... thanks for your reply... but, I think I'm a little old or something or just not in high school anymore but, could someone explain to me what are chavs and emos? Do you guys have names for the different groups at school or something? If you know, please explain it to me, tell me all the different groups there are in your school; their names, who they are, what they do, how they dress etc... thanks!! :)

[Sponge'K'nob]

im not in school anymore either.
but yeah theres lots of different people.
are you from the UK? if you're not you may not understand some of the terms

[Laetitia]

Hey
No, I'm not from the UK... I'm in Belgium now but went to American high schools...I've been out since 2002 but I don't remember ever having heard those terms.. is it typically British or what? Could you explain them to me?

[Bob!]

Heres an example of a Chav (http://www.nuweb.co.uk/games/Interview-With-Darren-Banks).

And emos are the ones with long hair over one eye, listen to depressin music, cry all the time and slit their wrists and stuff lol.

[sam]

damn right u ave 2 fit in dat b shit goin bout wid no m8s. glad i got plenty

[sam]

bob u want devvo 4 an example of a chav

[Bob!]

Devvos on the same section :P

[Mamfy]

Lol bob that's legendary :P

[blazeteendanny]

1. im an outsider at school because my taste in everything is odd :P
2. emos dont slit their wrists, because my m8 is an emo's (i am not)
3. i get the hel kicked outta me, and though i tell adults, they dont do f**k all!

[Stephanie]

Fitting in to me would mean being accepted for who i am. I wouldn't ever change who i am to become someone i am not


i dont want to change just to be liked by some people. if they dont like it then fair enough. if someone doesnt like the way i am then i wouldn't change to fit in.

Many of you are saying that you wouldn't change yourself just so you could fit in. I don't think anyone could actually know that for sure unless they've actually been put in that situation.

I reckon if you were a complete loner in school and nobody liked you or would talk to you because of the way you dress, talk, act, etc..you wouldn't be all like "ah well..I don't need friends..if they don't like me for who I am then too bad." I think the majority of you would probably start making changes...they don't have to be HUGE life changing changes...just small ones like the way you dress or wear your hair or whatever.

Humans are social beings and very rarely prefer to be without friends. And sometimes in order to have friends you have to make a few changes.

[PrincessAlice]

i myself dont feel that i have to fit in, i dont want to change just to be liked by some people

i agree with you. i dont feel i fit in at school people don't like me but i don't care because least i'm being myself and don't feel the need to follow a group of girls to try and be popular people can like me how i am or they can get stuffed :)