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clueless
April 1st '06, 04:12 PM
Hello everyone,

I know this is a pretty long post, but i would appreciate it if you could read it all in order to understand the whole story. I copied and pasted this from my blog, so here goes..

Currently, my primary concern is that of my friend. Following are some entries i wrote, over these past few weeks:

13th March, 2006: ''My friend was harming herself for a long period of time and i managed to pursuade her to seek help and thankfully, she decided to concentrate on the better aspects of her life, instead. For a few months she was fine, but recently she began to become withdrawn again and would only provide people who talked to her with one word answers. Today, i saw her in person, and she was still extremely withdrawn. She wouldn't look at me regardless talking to me. I let it go for a bit, realising that she needed her own space. I came back from lunch and saw her sitting with some of her friends, but she wasn't speaking. I glanced down at her (seeing that she was sitting) and saw, to my horror, blood trickling down her wrist. She had said that she wouldn't cut again and said i told her the next time she did, i wasn't going to sit back and let it carry on, instead i was going to talk to someone who could make a difference. That person in authority was our Headteacher. She had previos knowledge of my friend hurting herself, too, so it wasn't like i was betraying anyone. So i went and spoke to her about my friend. I saw my friend after the headteacher had spoken to her and was is really angry with me. im afraid this may have been at the expense of our frendship. I decided to do something because i know that regardless of what anybody says to her (her friends) she will not stop hurting herself. She also refused to see a professional and the only thing anyone could do was allow it to carry on. I myself, used to harm myself. I don't want her to regret it years later down when she has to start investing in scar removers.''

She read this some days later, and said that she acknowledged that i was only doing what any caring friend would do, given the circumstances. But later, she started blanking me and when i tried to talk to her, she used the 'get-lost-i-don't-want-you-interferring' line. So i let it be known that i would be there for her till the end and that i wasn't giving up just yet. A few days after that, she apologised.

27th March, 2006: ''We went to London, today. It was a 5 hour coach journey, and *the girl who this is about* sat next to me. Everything was fine. I asked whether she had hurt herself recently, and she said 'yes.' I asked her to show me her arm. She did. There were 3 new open wounds, clogged with fresh blood. It hurts. She said she 'didn't want to talk about it' but i talked anyway. She listened but didn't say anything. I assured her i wasn't speaking out of spite, to which she said ''i know.''

I don't know what happened after that. She quit talking to me. I asked her boyfriend to talk to her, seeing that he is one of the few people she actually pays attention to anymore.

This is what happened yesterday:
30th March, 2006: She still isn't talking to me. She got one of our friends to ask me this:
* says: ask how she wud feel if i fucked my arm up even more and came with bandages arnd my arm tm ?

31st March,2006: ''I was really scared yesterday night after she had made the comments about cutting so deep, she would require a bandage as to stop her clothes from being soiled. Last night, i made a firm promise to myself that if in the morning she did have a bandage on, i would not rest until she saw someone who she could talk to and who could help her. She came in today. Her arm was bandaged. I felt so helpless and angry, seeing her do this to herself time and time again. Why is it that something really dreadful has to happen before someone is brought back into reality? I still had the promise i had made to myself resounding in my head. So straight after registration, i went and talked to the Headteacher again and pressed her so hard until i was reassured that SOMETHING constructive was going to be done. I wrote her a letter after that, seeing that she isn't talking to me face to face. She read it. Don't know what she made of it though. I just hope and pray and she doesn't hurt herself too badly .. or worse still, take her own life. ''

I don't know what else i can do..

All replies greatly appreciated.

Thank you.:)

Teen&luvinit
April 2nd '06, 03:00 AM
i think that you were right to speak out against your friend. it shows alot about your character. But i'm not so sure that your friend see's what she is doing is affecting the people around her. All you really can do is let her know every chance you can that you are here for her regardless is she is your friend or your arch enemy. Maybe she will realize that your not going anywhere and then she might open up to you. Until then just be strong and i will always be here to offer advice.

hope my advice helped
Jenna

_bosnian_
April 3rd '06, 12:46 PM
do you know why she is doing that?

clueless
April 3rd '06, 06:18 PM
Thank you, Jenna.

_bosnian_:

*says: cuz everyone pisses me off and make the matter worse.

even though everyone around her is constantly reminding her how much she means to them, she seems to be convincing herself no one gives a damn. :(

_bosnian_
April 3rd '06, 06:37 PM
i don't know, but she has to have a reason why she is doing that and not just because everbody pisses her off. at least there has to be a reason why the people "piss her off".

perhaps she tries to get acknowledgment how much she means to you and the others. i knew some people who cutted themselves too, but they did it in private and didn't tell anything, until their parents or friends saw it once.
people who cut themselv' never can escape alone out of this problem, they need professional help. perhaps you can try to find out the true reasons why she is doing that. i mean, probably she has big problems or depressions, which nobody knows.

clueless
April 3rd '06, 06:46 PM
well right now, she doesn't want to know me at all. she blanked me completely all day today, but was okey talking with all her other friends. she walks past me without even acknowledging my existance.

the thing that hurts the most, is that we were such close friends. she doesn't want the professional help and facing facts, no one can really force her cus even if she does see someone, if she is adament not to listen, she won't. i dont wish to talk so bad of my friend. i don't know what to do. the longer she carries on, the harder it will be for her to stop. i should know, i've been there.

NATAL!E
April 3rd '06, 09:17 PM
This will probably seem so heartless, but it really does seem like your friend is doing a lot of it for attention.

For example, she gives no defined reason for why she feels depressed, she purposely hurt herself more to hurt you, or make you pay more attention to her. And to me, that is not something where the person is doing it to release their own pain, only to get at you. It just seems a bit.. weird. I'm probably really wrong here, but it just doesn't seem right.

If I was you, I'd tell my friend I was going to get her proper help, whether she wanted it or not, and go and see someone. It might be an idea to speak to your head teacher again, and ask if she could arrange for a councillor to visit the school a few times a week - from the NHS or something. Your friend could be made appointments to see the councillor, and I think it would help a lot.

Talking to a head teacher resolves problems, but what your friend has is something which goes a lot deeper and is more psychological. She needs professional help, and the best way to do it would be through school, so it's nothing horrifically different from what she's used to.

PrincessAlice
April 3rd '06, 09:28 PM
the best think is for her to go for professional help

my friend who shall not be named because its her busy has cut for years. i once had to rush round to her house because she had cut to deep i told her parents and all they seemed to do was wrap her up in cotton wool but i then told the support teacher at school. she stopped doing it so the teacher wouldn't tell her parents so she waited until the teacher left her alone then started all over again after.

One night me and my mates and her were out drinking and she just went from one extreme of being very happy to very depressed where she kept trying to run infront of cars and if we pulled her back she screamed and shouted she scratched up all my hand because of me holding her back it was terrible..

The day after one of my mates and me went down to see her parents while she was at work and she is now in professional help she is alot happier now and can tell she is not in anymind in doing it again

the best thing you can do is stick by her