So theres this Girl...

[SpShaun]

Hey guys, my first post Woop!
Okay so about 4-5 months ago i randomly ended up talking to this girl at my school who i'd never really noticed before. We kinda hit it off right away and within a few weeks we were close friends and i really began to fall for her.

I'm not the most confident guy at asking out girls after a few bad experiences but the last week in november i made a pact with myself that i was going to ask her out by the end of the week. That tuesday night though we we're talking and then i found out that this guy she had met half a year ago who was a few years older than us had told her he loved her, i was pretty crushed but i know when to cut my losses and i spent a few months trying to forget her and in the end i succeeded and we remained good friends.

Now though shes one of my closest friends and shes still in love with the same guy even though he lives in middlesobrough, but the thing is im beginning to like her again i mean i love everything about her even some of our mutual friends always say how perfect we would be together.

Thing is i just cant get her out of my head and she talks about him quite alot and to not hang out with her would mean having to ignore alot of my good friends, even if i was to tell her how i feel she would pick him everytime.

Its a bad situation and i really need some advice, oh and nice forum people (;.

[lozflup]

Hmmm, is she going out with this guy?
Because if she isnt, i think you should tell her how you feel! You never know she may feel the same about you. Its worths a shot i say, if you really feel this strongly about her you should defenatily let her know because it sounds like you really like her!

[Mr.Happy:)]

Right. Hiya ^^

1. I know this is totally irrelevant; but you're in the same situation as Jacob in Twilight ... thought it was kinda funny :)

2. I know it's gonna seem annoying and impossible and like BAD advice ... but u gotta tell her. you can't just keep pretending it's not there coz the more you're going to hang out with her, the more you're gonna like her and the harder it'll be.

3. CARPE DIEM! Catch the day my randomly met internet-friend!! *dramatic movement*

[Buttons93]

I'd say tell her, but be careful as sometimes it can all mess up. You need to basically ask her if she'd always be there for you no matter what yada yada yada and depending on her response to that, I'd tell her. If she does feel the same about you then party onnnn! If not then don't let it stop your friendship cos that's the worse thing. Only thing I'd say is I'd worry that after you told her, things may become awkward between the two of you but my honest answer is follow your instincts. You've told yourself once that you'd tell her so you could probably pluck up the courage to do it again. Hope all goes well!

[Thok]

You need to talk to her as people have said. But make sure that when you tell her you let her know how much your friendship means to you an that you think that should come first.


However, also consider how you would feel being with someone while at the same time knowing she loves someone else. Would you be able to deal with that? Also think what would happen if thinks didn't work out, would you both be able to stay good friends?

Seems a lot of times things like this happen, i always feel like telling people to hide their feelings away to save a friendship because i know first hand how it ruins friendships. I also know how crushing it is when things don't work out an you are both left emotionally fucked up. i suppose in the end all you can do is what you feel is best.

Ill say the same to you, if you want to, contact me by pm an we can talk at length about it if you like :]

[n0iZe]

How inclined are you to be with her, rather than the fact that you want what you can't have?

[GemmaJamPot]

1. I know this is totally irrelevant; but you're in the same situation as Jacob in Twilight ... thought it was kinda funny

Apart from the obvious fact that neither people in question are vampires or warewolves (as far as we know) and the people do (I assume) exist!! But thats just an irrelevent little detail :p

N carpe diem means seize the day :).

Anyways.. my actual answer to the thread.
If you like her as much as you say you do, you should talk to her. But like Thok said.. if she loves this other guy.. where would you stand, if the two of you got together?

X

[colored_zebra]

let her know that you're an option if she doesnt already know
she may start liking you instead of the other guy if she knew how you felt, and if not, just make sure u dont make it awkward if u still want to be close friends

[nyx]

What Laura (lozflup) oh and also liking the carpe diem from Mr. Happy.

As much as people worry about these things if you tell a friend you like them and they don't like you back, then its rare that the friendship is over just like that, or at least if it was a decent friendship in the first piece. It might be a bit awkward for a couple of weeks but all you gotta do is try and act as normal as possible and it'll soon pass, you'll move on and meet another girl.

Approximately six years ago (scary stuff I know, I'm so old) my best friend told me he liked me, and I didn't like him, sure it was a bit weird to begin with but six years on we're still the best of friends, and have helped each other through a number of break ups and psycho ex's since without even a twinge of weirdness.

[Thok]

All depends on when you realise you have feeling for someone. Would you count a little crush as having feelings, or thinking of the person every moment of every day. And feeling somewhat lost without them having feelings?