Boyfriend Issues!

[abcdef]

this may seem a bit strange but...on friday night, one of my friends had heard that my boyfriend had cheated on me, so i asked him about it. he said that 2 months ago at lunch one of his friends had kissed him, but he claims he didnt know she was going to do it. He says he turned around and she randomly kissed him. on saturday night i saw her, and i got really upset. my boyfriend saw me crying and was trying to stop me from crying, he was saying things like 'it didnt mean anything' 'it was nothing' 'i didnt tell you because it didnt matter', now that really hurt me because to me it did mean something. i dont know wether to believe that he didnt kiss her back, he says he didnt, but because he didnt tell me about this im really not sure wether to believe him. i really love him. but im not sure what to do :S. i know that just before we started going out he fancied that girl and im really worried about him cheating on me.i dont want to believe that he did cheat but im not sure. any help on what to do??

[nyx]

Well you can try and talk to him again and explain to him that its really important to you, and it hurts that he didn't tell you at the time. But judging from his responses so far I don't think he's gonna give you any more information. So this leaves you two options;

EITHER leave the guy, if you don't think you can trust him anymore.

OR stay with him because you love him. But if you do that then you have to both forgive him and forget that anything happened, a relationship won't happen without trust and there's no point staying in one if you don't think you can do either of those things, it'll only come back an hurt sometime in the future.

[GemmaJamPot]

^ Absolutly agree.
If its that important to you, you should talk to him about it... because its not fair if is going to be playing on your mind all the time. But on the other hand, if he's said that it didnt mean anything and he didnt know, he might be pissed off if you dont believe him, and you could push him away..? If you want to stay with him, youre going to have to trust him tbh. If you cant trust him, then perhaps your relationship needs re-evaluating?

X

[Vitheyl]

Men are pigs! If you really love him, though, just forgive him and buy a shorter leash. Perhaps a muzzle of some sort. I can guarantee it won't happen again!

[n0iZe]

Either that, or he's being honest.

Not all men are pigs.

[zakarius]

true say mike

true say

[Gem.]

Meh. It's a bit stereotypical to say all men are pigs.
Not all are.

[nyx]

Yes because clearly that was an entirely serious post.

[Vitheyl]

.. lol. I'm glad we're not all idiots, here.

[case]

why don't get back at him by kissing somone else?

[nyx]

Cos thats a retarded suggestion?

[Gem.]

why don't get back at him by kissing somone else?

Because then that makes her just as bad as him? Silly.

[GemmaJamPot]

@ case - What a mature suggestion. Well done.

X

[VraiCanon]

Ahhh if you're having doubts you may aswell just leave him because you can't trust him. A relationship can't work without trust.

[Shane]

Ahhh if you're having doubts you may aswell just leave him because you can't trust him. A relationship can't work without trust.
Trust has to be earned. No one trusts someone instantly.
In fact, if you give someone your trust from the get go then you're making a pretty stupid decision. :P

[Arieadnee]

I agree..

[Claireapillar]

I don't know. It's up to you, whether you trust him or not. He might be telling the truth. It's difficult for us to help you, cos we don't know him, so some assume the worst.

Men are puzzles. Sometimes they genuinely think it's better not to tell you things that would upset you...eventhough it's worse coming from someone else and such like. And he may have thought that telling you would have been unnecessarily hurting you if it didn't mean anything and stuff.

I find that with the boys i'm friends with, or have dated, then being blunt is the best option. Tell him how much it did hurt you, and has made you trust him less. Maybe suggest a break, i don't know. If it were me i would tell him that i did love him very much, which is why i didn't want to break up with him, but the fact that he has hidden it from you has made you lose your trust in him. Errrmmm see his reaction to that i suppose, and then if he still just kepps saying 'it didnt mean anything' but gives you no more info, then tell him to explain, and tell you his feelings and stuff.

Sorry i couldn't be more helpful hun.
Hope it helped a bit, and that you sort it out
x

[abcdef]

Thanks for the help.i sat down with him and he promises it didnt mean anything and that he loves me.ive decided to stay with him because i love him and i trust him now.but thanks for the help :)