Finally. Why the Chicken Really Crossed the Road! :D

[Shane]

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it the 'other side'. Yes, my friends that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott (notice I didn't say Girlcott) all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2007 , which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance you checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

[Shane]

LOL @ Grandpa and Sigmund Freud

[NATAL!E]

LOLZ.
That's lovely.
I like chickens.

[NeEdLeZ]

Lmfao!

[Hevz]

lol @ grandpa old ppl they r all the same!

[Ben]

LOL i liked:

Bill Gates
Grandpa
Colonal Sanders
Albert Einstein

[michelle]

lol
john kerry
colonel sanders

[Shane]

LOL i liked:

Bill Gates
Grandpa
Colonal Sanders
Albert Einstein
You would like Bill gates. :/

[LukeEv_17]

quality

[Ben]

what?

[lana loo]

lol med me laugh some of them

[Tim]

gawd i 'ate these jokes

[buthy-13]

niahhaha

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

Wow, those were the worst jokes I've ever heard.
So boring I didn't read all of them.

[pandaspice2122]

haha lol that is so funny man aye :L

[VampyrMaggot]

LMAO at Freud

[vish_kenshine]

LMAO Nice one..
I liked grandpa and colonel sanders...

[Lenny]

i must say.. that's great!

[mandude]

Grandpa was cool!

[Bebot]

lol that was so hilarious!

[[x.krishnaa.x]]

LMAO, a friend of mine showed this to me many months back. Love it!

[pandaspice2122]

ROFLMFAO i like jerry fallwell, dr seuss, grandpa

[nix0002]

I have a joke!!!!

why did the skeleton cross the road??

because he had no-BODY to go with!!


hahaha! arent i funny!

[Darts]

Wow, those were the worst jokes I've ever heard.
So boring I didn't read all of them.

Wow, happiness vibes just flooded the forum! lol

[Claireapillar]

lol, they're fab! i can't really have a favourite cos there were so many good uns!
Have you heard this before:

"The chicken came first...then fell asleep...the egg wasn't impressed"
It's not amazingly funny, but you might get a slight parp or giggle?
:P

[Darts]

Hahahaha I drew an illustration of that on bebo once and sent it round lol.

[Ben]

"The chicken came first...then fell asleep...the egg wasn't impressed"
It's not amazingly funny, but you might get a slight parp or giggle?
:P

's come!

[emmakh123]

i liked the answers RUSH LIMBAUGH and JERRY FALWELL

gave. they were funny, lol :D

[COLTON]

I liked these:



GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

[musicbutterfly]

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.


tht sounds real cool.

[Celi]

lol. That was good. Have to show the friends that one.

-Celi

[sarah-XD]

wow
at first i was just smiling,
then i was shaking with laughter, with tears coming down my face,
then i copied it and sent it to my friends,
is that okay by the way??
it was soo funny!!

[Wacko1574]

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
hahahaha my favourite...i lolled at all of them :P

[nyx]

Haha, I read these first ages ago somewhere, but they are soo funny. I can't pick a favourite really, although the Dr Seuss made me laugh the loudest.

[Fez]

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.


HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.



JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it the 'other side'. Yes, my friends that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott (notice I didn't say Girlcott) all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."


DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.


GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!



those are all damn funny ones

[dumdadum]

Bwahaha, the Marx and Dr. Seuss ones were excellent.

[Oxide]

Lulz at the Freud one.
Psychological humour. Priceless. :D

[-Michael-]

Hahah!

But so true...

[XxlilsawahxX]

LOL the only one i lol'd at was sigmund freud

[Claireapillar]

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it the 'other side'. Yes, my friends that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott (notice I didn't say Girlcott) all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2007 , which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance you checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

I've seen this before, i think someone in my year at school read it out in assembly or something weird...cos you always get some retard that's like 'whos al gore?' or 'who's karl marx?'

i like einsteins :)

[SierraStabler]

Um...why do we care? It's a chicken.
In my opinion it was probably just running from some fat American kid.

[diabloprimeevil]

lmao i once saw a cow hatch from a chicken egg on tv was kinda wierd and creepy so that could be why the chicken crossed the road to get away from the geneticaly modified cows that were layin mini cow eggs that looked like chicken eggs you see chickens are smart they know the score

[Will]

Why did the chicken cross the road eh? Well it was afraid I was going to fuck it. It was damn right to, a fucking road's not gonna stop me!

[Darts]

Shane you totally recycled my post and just stickied it! I posted this already ages ago haha

[Shane]

I can't recall the post. :|

[Darts]

It was exactly this..... same title and everything, I'm sure it was haha

[christie_aya]

MY DAD: i dont care if the #### chicken crossed the road or not, i wnna know if im having kfc or not!!! :D

[Tim]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

[chocolatepocky]

Rofl! I love these, where they have lots of diff interpretations of one Q. Nice nice :D

[saz_day]

haha this made me laugh!

[ruby_benny]

that is so funny!

[EmilyOwnsYou]

:lol: lol

[innonse09]

FORREST GUMP: The chicken crossed the road to get the box of chocolates.
DAN BROWN: The chicken crossed the road because the chicken saw something that would change the fate of men.
PSYCHO: The chicken crossed the road because i am on the other side and ill be glad to smash the chickens head with my hands.

[Burias]

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.


Win.

[Sciocco]

That is funny. Wow!

[Karbon]

Awft I didn't laugh.

[Teen Queen]

LOL @ ALBERT EINSTEIN
Thannxx nice jokes :D

[Dorian Gray]

Oh Ernest Hemingway, I love you.

[boogiewoman]

"Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out."
my favourite one haha

always knew freud had it right!

[andrea17]

perhaps the chicken just felt like it. Or it had an urgent appointment. It had to be somewhere?

[dateless]

Huey Freeman: Trivial like this are questions just used a form of social control. While the on going "chicken cross roads" conundrum persist we never stop to think why our hard earned money is going to big banks and fighting a wars....pfft

[Sguzzi]

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it the 'other side'. Yes, my friends that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott (notice I didn't say Girlcott) all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2007 , which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance you checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?


The bible one made me lol.