I'm Bad at Talking...

[idk]

In case you guys haven't noticed, my social skills aren't exactly the best. So here's the issue, every opportunity I get to develop a social life or a crowd of friends, it never happens. I'm not sure what it is, really. There comes to be a point where I get uncomfortable with becoming someone's bro and then just stop talking to them and avoid them without realizing it.

I'm going to be off to college next year.. so I was planning on getting a head start on tackling this problem. I'd appreciate insight into what's causing the problem and how to solve it.

[Shane]

I think it's different for everyone. Sometimes I just like to be left alone, sometimes I get depressed cause I am alone.

I think being around crowds of people with similar interests works best.
If you like games, talk to other people that like games, though, of course, being up to date on whatever subjects you're interested in does help too. Being behind makes you feel left out when people are talking about things you have no idea about.

Being drunk also helps. As long as you're around other drunk people. it;s a great way to make friends and get chatting. Don't try chatting to drunks when you're sober though, it;s fucking hell. :P

Most of it is just about acting confident though. Even if you're not really that confident, acting like you are will get people talking to you. There aren;t many people that want to talk to the "quiet guy".

[skorpion]

just.. play it cool u know
do the cool stuff
talk like cool people
be cool about being with cool people
cool it off when u dont feel cool
and be cool about tryin to be cool
everyone like a cool guy
so u are probably not cool enough
so try to become cool by doing what i mentioned above

[Andy C]

DqgXzPfAxjo

[Jinxieminx]

OMFG ANDY YOU LEGEND ILY

/caps

[Claireapillar]

Yeah pretty similar to what shane said, sometimes i feel like talking to people because i'm lonely, other times i want to be cut off from the world.

Even if you're just reading posts often, and 'thanking' or agreeing it's something though. If i'm feeling kinda meh, i tend to just read things but not really comment.

I guess solving an issue like this is pretty difficult though. Try just taking an interest in things you wouldn't normally comment on. Maybe that will help, or find/make new threads about specific things that you are passionate about, that you can 'bond' with people over i guess.

I'd say don't be scared to voice your opinions but i don't think you do anyway all that often :/ could be wrong though as i don't know you well

If it helps i think you're a cool guy...I think others agree too :)

Are you bad at taking compliments? And generally letting people into your life?
I sometimes get a bit funny with privacy, and then i let it slip again and think ah feck it, 'this is me' kinda thing, like it or hate it i aint gonna change

[Jinxieminx]

Start talking to people more online, and replicate your interactions online, in real life...

Except... don't call anyone a nigger...

[Claireapillar]

haha oh why not?

I call some of my friends niggers, they told me to though...so i guess it makes it ok

[Jinxieminx]

I guess it depends who you're with :p

[Malarkey]

Freshman year is possibly THE easiest time in your life to make new friends. No one knows anyone else. Everyone is desperate to make friends because no one really has any. You (usually) have to room with random people, giving you even more opportunity to make friends because you just can't avoid your roommates. No really, you can't. RAs and SAs plan all kinds of mixer events and social activities. They want you to form friendships as quickly as possible so you won't become depressed and, therefore, problematic and/or suicidal. Take advantage of these.

Basically, you have to be completely and utterly socially retarded to not make any friends freshman year of college. Not to say that all the friendships you make will be lasting ones, but some of them should be.

However, it seems that your problem is equally keeping friends as it making them. I'm not sure I have much advice for that other than: don't avoid your friends once you've made them? I'm not sure why you're uncomfortable, but examining that might give you the answer - you haven't exactly given me a whole lot to go on.

[idk]

It's not as simple as "don't avoid them" because I usually don't realize I'm doing it. My issue with keeping friends is I end up not wanting them around. It's not hating them or finding anything wrong with them. I don't know what it is.

[Darts]

It's not as simple as "don't avoid them" because I usually don't realize I'm doing it. My issue with keeping friends is I end up not wanting them around. It's not hating them or finding anything wrong with them. I don't know what it is.

I do this and I have no idea why either.

[idk]

Hi-5.

[Malarkey]

It's not as simple as "don't avoid them" because I usually don't realize I'm doing it.

Pay more attention? Sorry for simplifying things so much, but, as I've said, you haven't given me a whole lot to go on. You're baffled by your own behavior, so it's unlikely that I, a complete stranger, will be able to understand it - but I'll give it another shot.


My issue with keeping friends is I end up not wanting them around. It's not hating them or finding anything wrong with them. I don't know what it is.

Then that's probably just the circle of life for your friendships. I doubt there's anything you can do to make yourself want to be around people that you don't want to be around. The only possible thing that I can think of is that the type of people you choose to be your friends are the type that are fun at first, but get old/annoying fast. You might just enjoy variety? Or get bored with people in general? Or dislike commitment and/or neediness and expectations? There are so many options. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but you might find it more difficult to make friends if you develop a reputation for dropping people like that.

[idk]

Yeah, I understand I haven't given this thread enough, but I really don't have more. Anyway, thanks for the insight.