How will I tell him??

[Florentine]

***Seriously, I dont feel like reading immature pieces of advice. So if you have the time to read this and the time to think and actually leave a helpful comment behind, please do! If you think it this is stupid and you dont feel like reading this, than don't even bother commenting!!

I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost four months now. I feel like our love and passion has faded away. Everytime when he is at my house or when Im on the phone with him, I always get irritated by him. I haven't seen him for almost 1.5 week straight and I don't even miss his presence.

Sex is also really bad. I haven't had sex with him for almost 1 month! Thats not healthy... I know that he still loves me becuase I still feel it coming from him. But I don't love him anymore... atleast thats what I think...

I've been thinking that maybe I'm in this phase of a relationship where everything looks dull...but isn't that a little bit early seeing that I've only been with him for four months? But anyways, considering that I've been giving myself some weeks to actually try to get over this phase and to actaully think. But in the end I just end up feeling the same...there are just so many things that irritate me and I'm really afraid that I'll have to end it.

Now my question is, how can I tell him that I can't do this anymore? I'm not even sure, but its definitely not normal that I'm feeling this way about him... I know becuase I've been in plenty relationships to know so. I have an idea that he still thinks that everything is fine. At times I try to give him hints that I'm not really into him... but he's not seeming to pick them up... or maybe he just doesn't want to...

I'm so confused. We used to be so in love... now everything is so dull and boring...
How do I tell him that from my side the relationship is over? I've broken up with guys before, but with him its just so hard. He's the first one I had sex with so our relationship is different than the ones I had before! How can I bring the bad new to him??

Thanks for reading this!!
xx
Florentine

[buthy-13]

ummm

okay first this topic is intresting

and i'm sure it's hard for you to tell him and c the looks in his face

but life goes that way

if your very sure that you don't wonna be with him any more
tell him how you feel your relation is getting boring
maybe he'll try to make it intresting
who know "you never know how praises the thing you had until you lose it"

if i was you and i felt how dull the relation is then i'll have a special conversation with him and tell him what i want to tell :)

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

I think that you should call him over to your house, bring him up to your room where you two are alone, and talk to him about how you are feeling and how you can't do this anymore, but break it to him gently. Don't be too harsh.
There's no other way to tell him but to tell him face-to-face. Dropping hints is stupid.

[Florentine]

yeah thats true. I was just so hard at first to break it to him because he's such a sweet guy. He called me today that he wanted to talk about the arguement we had today. Im going to call him back. Of course I'm not going to break up with him over the phone, but like you said "sweetest.x.sin" I can ask him to come over to talk further.
Thanks for your help, both of you;)!

xx
Florentine

[Sponge'K'nob]

You need to be sure its what you want, sometimes if you dont see people in a while you do start to think, ohh yeah i dont like them but when you see him again memories may come back.
If its on your chest about breaking up, you need to say it, its unhealthy not to, ive seen this a lot in the last few weeks with some close friends, and they didnt say anything.
talk and see how it goes, dont plan what you are going to say.

[Florentine]

Thanks karen:)
Yeah i just had him on the phone. I silently cried and didn't want him to know. I told him my feelings and he kind of felt the way I was acting lately too so it wasn't totally a surprise to him.
I clearly do still have feelings for him.... and I guess your maybe right! Maybe if I see him again tomorrow then everything will come back!
I'll tell you guys how everything went tomorrow night.

xx
Florentine

[NATAL!E]

[Edit: This post is worthless to you now Florentine, but it may help someone else, so i'll leave it up!]

Yeah, think about what you're going to say to him. Otherwise you'll just beat around the bush and say something you don't really mean.

Talk to him face to face, because you're relationship is worth more than a phone call or an email. Tell him that you don't feel the way you used to, and it feels like things have changed. You're not happy anymore, and you don't feel the same as you did at the beginning of your relationship.

Im guessing you still want to be friends with him. So tell him you don't want to lose him from your life completely, but obviously, it's upto him to decide what he wants to do, and whether he wants to still be friends with you.

You've had a lot of strength in your relationship, and I can tell you were pretty serious. So you'll have shared a lot of emotions with him. Tell him you don't want to lose that, or him, from your life. Cause it seems like both of them things played a very important part of your life before you felt differently.

I'm sure, once you've told him how you feel, and you've talked about what you want to do, you'll feel so much better. And like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Good luck with everything, and let us know how it all went.
x

[Florentine]

Thank you Natalie for you response!
I definitely let you guys know what happened!
xx

[Pearson]

I didnt read the thread. Seemed really boring.

[NATAL!E]

If you were unhappy with your relationship and wanted to break up with the poor lad pearson, you'd have read it then :P.

and you're welcome florentine. even tho the post was not really any use to you!!

[Sponge'K'nob]

i will read this thread tomorrow then..

[Florentine]

I didnt read the thread. Seemed really boring.

how about reading the red flashy letters explaining that I really don't care for useless comments like yours right now, pearson. Have some damn respect.

[Pearson]

how about reading the red flashy letters explaining that I really don't care for useless comments like yours right now, pearson. Have some damn respect.

Na....the red bit seems too boring. Infact that last post was really boring. This whole threads really boring.

[Sponge'K'nob]

Na....the red bit seems too boring. Infact that last post was really boring. This whole threads really boring.
calm it please.

[Pearson]

calm it please.

Come on Karen, you know whats happening here - Im fully calmed as I always am.

[Sponge'K'nob]

yeah well dont annoy members =] only the annoying ones. and the gay ones, im sure ive told you this many times before :P
and woop you called me Karen 2.

[Sweetest.x.Sin]

You're welcome for the help, Sweetie.
Just IM me if you need to talk. :D

[Florentine]

Hey guys!
Well just a little update of what happened:D

Last Monday I went to my boyfriends new place. I went there with a certain mood that things could end up really bad and that I might end up breaking up with him. He came to pick me up at the tram stop and he showed me around the city where he lived now. All I could really think of was "how the hell will I break it to him???". Then we came to his appartment. He showed me all the rooms. It was driving me nuts becuase the whole time I was shouting in my head "whats the use of giving me this grand tour of his new place?! I probably won't see him and his place ever again!"...

So we got into his room sat down, had a drink. We stared at each other for a while, and then i just slowly started the conversation, eventually planning to build up the the bad news. I told him how I was feeling about everything and how I was afraid that I'm probably not up to a relationship anymore. But the more we talked, the more I feared that I was going to regret my actions (breaking up with him). Eventually, I thought that I was crazy that I wanted to break up with him! I think all I really needed was to see him again! And once I did, the sparks lit on again;)

So everything is good. In a few weeks during October break we are planning to go to Paris! Ah I'm so excited:)

Thanks all for your help! I really appreciate it!

xxxx
Florentine

[Sponge'K'nob]

I knew the feelings would come back :)
glad you are happy and have an amazing time in paris!
x

[Pearson]

Was always going to happen. Soon as he gets his nob out you decided against it.

[Sponge'K'nob]

ignor this guy.

[Florentine]

doesn't matter, I guess I learned one thing from this forum not to react to such dumb ass wipes:)

and thanks karen;)

[Sponge'K'nob]

no problemo :)

[toxic kiss]

good for you