Dishonest friend :S

[VampyrMaggot]

In september, this new girl started at my school (call her E) and she hung out with some of my mates (because they'd come from the same school as her before, and i make friends with these other people first) and also she's in one of my classes, and i sit next to her.
she's very quiet and withdrawn, and doesn't usually contribute to conversations or anything. but she likes to sit with us at lunch and break, and if we have any free periods together (as with anyone, i spose. no-one likes to sit on their own at lunch) but when you actually talk to her, she's nice. ive got her msn, and talk to her when she's on. all sounds normal, doesn't it?
but recently, she's been saying all this stuff and telling us stories about her life that really can't be anything but lies. like she told me she was in a band, but then the band split up cos her and her boyfriend (who was in the band) were in a car crash and her boyfriend died so they didn't get the record deal this big company were offering them and the Arctic Monkeys got it instead.
and she keeps changing this story, like it wasn't a car accident, but her boyfriend got run over by an out of control bus, pushed her out of the way and took the bus full on. and sometimes that happened in town, and sometimes it happened on a country lane, and sometimes the boyfriend is actually dead, and sometimes he was just injured, etc etc.
one of my other mates (call her J), who went to the same school as her and has known her a lot longer than me said she once told her she had cancer. but that turned out to be fake. and then she said she had TB, but this was like, 2 months after they had the TB jab at school.
so basically, she lies a lot. but everytime J tries to talk to her about this (either sympathetically when she thought the cancer thing was real or angerally when she was sick of all the lies) she just goes shy and started crying. she won't tell us why she's lying, and won't let us help. now J just ignores E most of the time, but doesn't wanna have a huge go at her cos she knows she'll end up crying.
thing is, i would do the same, but i've had another mate who did this, made stupid lies up and covered things up, and me and my friends just ignored her. it turned out she was self harming, her relationship and family life was a complete mess, and she ended up trying to kill herself cos no-one would take her seriously. and i'm so scared something like that might happen again if i don't try and do something able E.

any advice would be good

thanks xx

[~Wayne~]

Whoa, thats quiet harsh- Saying things like that isn't called for and just isn't right.

If she has problems elsewhere or not someone really need to get it out of her why she does it.

[Nintendus]

I think the best option would be to talk with her parents to try and seek proffesional help. It sounds like she is covering up for something.

[PrincessAlice]

she could be wanting to be more confident like you and your mates. she could compulsive liar personality disorder think you need to talk to somebody. Or she could just be after more attention by making herself seem more interesting

[VampyrMaggot]

Wayne - don't u think we'v tried? she just starts crying and making a scene, as if we'r havin a go at her or something. i wanna help her, but since i've only known her a couple of months, i don't really think its my place to start delving into her personal life. J has tried, and she just does the same. also, i don't think it's right i should talk to her about the cancer and TB, as she never directly told me that, so she would know me and J had been talkin about her.

Nintendus - i don't know her parents. i don't even know if she lives with both her parents. or maybe they're part of the problem she's trying to cover up? i've only known her a couple of months. but there is a social worker type person who works at our school (even if she is an evil patronising bitch) maybe me and J could get her to talk to E?

Alice - yea, i think she wants more confidence, but whats the point in lying to all the people around you, making yourself out do be a blantant liar, and losting all the friends you already have? i don't get it. and we never purposely block her out of our conversations. i mean, she likes the same kind of music as us, and she's in one of my classes, she could join in any time she liked. ah, i dunno......

[NATAL!E]

one of my old friends used to be a bit like this, and she took it upon herself to tell everyone shit about me, saying i'd been horrible to her and stuff, and basically, just left the friend group. she's made friends with this other group now and she appears really happy. she's always laughing and chatting, which she never was in my group and stuff.

i don't really know what you can do about this girl. maybe invite her round to your house with the rest of your friends, and when she's there ask her again. this time she won't be able to cause a scene, because there will be no one to watch. tell her she can cry as much as she wants, but when she's finished you'll still be waiting for her answer, and you want the truth.

you could tell her the consequences of compulsive lying. people end up not believing anything she says, like the boy who cried wolf, people end up not wanting to talk to her, because they think she's just spouting constant lies etc etc.

i think, if you want to keep her as a friend, the best thing you can do is talk to her. that way you can appear as a friend who wants to help her (and you can tell her this). if you send someone to talk to her, she might feel like you're just sending people to interrogate her and she might get angry.

it's a tricky one this one though!

[Rashella]

Id say she's feeling left out so she's trying to make herself more interesting. I also knew someone like that, although not lying on that scale.
Just try and include her in conversations ect so she doesnt feel she has to lie to get your attention.