imlilanglnot
February 7th '07, 03:01 AM
There was this boy... yes, boy drama. : / But the story is more about my best friend than it is about the boy.
So that boy... I really liked him, and he had told me he liked me as well, and everything seemed to be moving forward and doing well. Until one weekend he randomly came up to me and told me he wanted to talk to me. I didn't think much about it at the time, but his whole talk was about how we couldn't be anything more than friends because he had alot of problems he had to figure out right now and that he just couldn't have a girlfriend right now. No biggie, that I understood. Except the next weekend all he wanted to do was make out... Okay. Well, maybe he changed his mind. Not to mention that at a party we went to that friday night, everyone kept saying he was my boyfriend - he didn't correct them, and when he was asked directly, he stammered with an, 'uhhh... we're still figuring that out.'
Oh, btw, this was the week of my birthday. Oh wonderful.
At lunch the following week he again told me he wanted to talk... This time, however, my mind was racing. I came up with everything from great news, to just plain awful. But I never expected what I got. I met him after school like he asked, but something didn't seem right. He kept looking around and finding random things to talk about, and I knew he was stalling. I finally just told him to come out with it. And what I got was, "How would you feel if Jamie and I went out?" Jamie, one of my best friends, had come with me a few weeks earlier to see him at work - before then they wouldn't have even recognized each other off the streets. Needless to say, I was speechless. With that one sentence he managed to completely knock everything out of my head... The only thing I remember thinging was, 'He didn't seriously just ask me that, did he?' But he had. [Then he kept asking me if I wanted a ride home. Yes, after that I'm going to want a ride from him.]
Not wanting to be the wicked witch of the west... I said I'd be fine with it. Who am I to stand between people anyway? But what really got me was her. Just that previous week she'd shown me a conversation between the two of them where she'd made him promise not to hurt me, because she cared about me so much. Yeah, apparently. And why wasn't she the one to ask me? Or even tell me she was interested in him? Shouldn't she have been the one to come to me, not him?
I didn't want to talk to either of them, I was definitely brooding. She called me, but I kept ignoring the calls, she was definitely the last person I wanted to talk to.
I eventually got a text from him telling me not to take anything out on her, because everything was really him. Which just made it worse, because who is he to tell me who to be angry with? I had every right to be upset with her, and I definitely was. I mean, I was angry with him, too, but not nearly as much. He's just some boy - she was supposed to be my best friend. A best friend who makes him talk to her bff about things? yeah, that makes loads of sense.
Seeing as she wouldn't leave me alone, I finally called her back. She wanted to talk, so we'd talk. The first thing she says is "I'm really sorry, I never meant to hurt you." Sorry just wasn't going to cut it, and I calmly told her that. And all she said was that she didn't know what to say. So I sat there and let her think about it, after all, she was the one who wanted to talk. But she never said anything and I wasn't just going to sit there for no reason. So I again reminded her that it was she who wanted to talk... I did this probably 3 times. Finally I got fed up and I started talking. Everything that I'd been thinking about the last few days.... Which is alot. I tend to dwell on one thing for a really long time. I ended up yelling, not by choice. I generally HATE hurting people. I honestly can't stand it... If I know I've hurt someone, I usually end up bawling about it. Yeah... But here I was screaming at her, and her just sitting there. Not saying a word. And we finally hung up after I don't know how long of me letting the entire world know what was going through my head.
They both said that they wouldn't do anything if i had any problem with it, but I didnt want that either. I mean, here was this boy i practically loved and I just wanted him to be happy. and I told them that. But, I wasn't going to sit around and watch it. Because that just might have killed me.
See, my thinking was that seeing as she knew how much I liked him... more than I've ever liked any guy... shouldn't she have come to me as soon as she realized she had feelings for him? Or atleast shouldn't she have been the one to talk to me about them going out, not him?
I know none of you probably care about any of that, but it's been running through my head recently. There's a bit more to it, but I wont bore you with it. It's really not important.
I recently decided to forgive her for the whole thing... I forgave him a while back. The decision coming after a bible study about parables of forgiveness. the prodigal son. and micah 6:8.
Bahhhh. That felt good to just get out.
mmmmm.... I feel much better now.
So that boy... I really liked him, and he had told me he liked me as well, and everything seemed to be moving forward and doing well. Until one weekend he randomly came up to me and told me he wanted to talk to me. I didn't think much about it at the time, but his whole talk was about how we couldn't be anything more than friends because he had alot of problems he had to figure out right now and that he just couldn't have a girlfriend right now. No biggie, that I understood. Except the next weekend all he wanted to do was make out... Okay. Well, maybe he changed his mind. Not to mention that at a party we went to that friday night, everyone kept saying he was my boyfriend - he didn't correct them, and when he was asked directly, he stammered with an, 'uhhh... we're still figuring that out.'
Oh, btw, this was the week of my birthday. Oh wonderful.
At lunch the following week he again told me he wanted to talk... This time, however, my mind was racing. I came up with everything from great news, to just plain awful. But I never expected what I got. I met him after school like he asked, but something didn't seem right. He kept looking around and finding random things to talk about, and I knew he was stalling. I finally just told him to come out with it. And what I got was, "How would you feel if Jamie and I went out?" Jamie, one of my best friends, had come with me a few weeks earlier to see him at work - before then they wouldn't have even recognized each other off the streets. Needless to say, I was speechless. With that one sentence he managed to completely knock everything out of my head... The only thing I remember thinging was, 'He didn't seriously just ask me that, did he?' But he had. [Then he kept asking me if I wanted a ride home. Yes, after that I'm going to want a ride from him.]
Not wanting to be the wicked witch of the west... I said I'd be fine with it. Who am I to stand between people anyway? But what really got me was her. Just that previous week she'd shown me a conversation between the two of them where she'd made him promise not to hurt me, because she cared about me so much. Yeah, apparently. And why wasn't she the one to ask me? Or even tell me she was interested in him? Shouldn't she have been the one to come to me, not him?
I didn't want to talk to either of them, I was definitely brooding. She called me, but I kept ignoring the calls, she was definitely the last person I wanted to talk to.
I eventually got a text from him telling me not to take anything out on her, because everything was really him. Which just made it worse, because who is he to tell me who to be angry with? I had every right to be upset with her, and I definitely was. I mean, I was angry with him, too, but not nearly as much. He's just some boy - she was supposed to be my best friend. A best friend who makes him talk to her bff about things? yeah, that makes loads of sense.
Seeing as she wouldn't leave me alone, I finally called her back. She wanted to talk, so we'd talk. The first thing she says is "I'm really sorry, I never meant to hurt you." Sorry just wasn't going to cut it, and I calmly told her that. And all she said was that she didn't know what to say. So I sat there and let her think about it, after all, she was the one who wanted to talk. But she never said anything and I wasn't just going to sit there for no reason. So I again reminded her that it was she who wanted to talk... I did this probably 3 times. Finally I got fed up and I started talking. Everything that I'd been thinking about the last few days.... Which is alot. I tend to dwell on one thing for a really long time. I ended up yelling, not by choice. I generally HATE hurting people. I honestly can't stand it... If I know I've hurt someone, I usually end up bawling about it. Yeah... But here I was screaming at her, and her just sitting there. Not saying a word. And we finally hung up after I don't know how long of me letting the entire world know what was going through my head.
They both said that they wouldn't do anything if i had any problem with it, but I didnt want that either. I mean, here was this boy i practically loved and I just wanted him to be happy. and I told them that. But, I wasn't going to sit around and watch it. Because that just might have killed me.
See, my thinking was that seeing as she knew how much I liked him... more than I've ever liked any guy... shouldn't she have come to me as soon as she realized she had feelings for him? Or atleast shouldn't she have been the one to talk to me about them going out, not him?
I know none of you probably care about any of that, but it's been running through my head recently. There's a bit more to it, but I wont bore you with it. It's really not important.
I recently decided to forgive her for the whole thing... I forgave him a while back. The decision coming after a bible study about parables of forgiveness. the prodigal son. and micah 6:8.
Bahhhh. That felt good to just get out.
mmmmm.... I feel much better now.