Kei_Bear

Date of Birth

November 14

About Kei_Bear

Real Name:

Keeley Chantel Grace Birch

Biography:

A friend recently enlightened me with a manifesto in a long car journey that has totally changed my opinion on the world and my own morals and values... I'll never forget it, and this is me starting afresh as of April 2011.Because I want to live, not exist.My names Kei, I'm from Sheffield... and I'm quite a fucking character ;) If ever we argued, if ever we fell out, if we don't talk, if I ever blamed you... I forgive you and want to take this opportunity to remodel myself upon my new enlightened ideals. I want fix all bonds that have broken between me and the people of my past and present so I can continue moving forward into the future.Don't think of me as soft, thoughtful or sentimental, you'll soon realise I'm just as cheeky, confident and charismatic as the next fucker... that's a promise.

Location:

Sheffield, United Kingdom

Gender:

Female

Aspirations:

To be a crackwhore with several children by 20...trust me, I'm already half way there.

Fave Things:

How to Walk in High Heels, Dead Sexy, The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, The Noughtie Girl's Guide to Feminism, The Naughty Girls Guide to Life, Girl with a One-Track Mind How To Train Your Dragon, RED, The 51st State, Inception, Seven, Chicago, Fallen, Constantine L7, Lunachicks, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Aerosmith, Buckcherry, Evening Meal & the After Party, Dubstep is shit., Cause of Denial, Myko Du Mal, The Velcro Teddy Bears, Talkin Strangers, Sneaky Feelin Fan Page, Scrim, Minerva, Pop Bubble Rock! - Sheffield, Tribute - The Greatest and Best Tenacious D Tribute Band in the World, The Secret Handshake, IAMX, Catatonia, TAT, The Pretty Reckless, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Hole, The Distillers me: "i try to tell myself I'm a good person. It helps me live with it."me: "But i WONT celebrate by breaking diet.No. No. No. No.I'll celebrate it with oranges, asparagus, cinemas and sex....Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes."me: "Where is my cocoon? I need to transform...have you seen my cocoon? "me: "I HAVE TOTALLY HONEST INTENTIONS THOUGH!"me: "Why am I so attracted to him? He's SUCH a cock."me: "And i'm going to get fucking shitfaced, and hopefully end up in bed with someone else."me: "The show must go on...."me: "Ive wasted a year and a half on that wreckage, and still couldn't turn it into something beautiful"gem: "I feel like half a woman :("me: ""You're still a woman to me :)... here, fancy lung cancer? ;)"gem: "I feel like properly going out..."me: "oh? well corps open for school disco but I don't have any cash"gem: "I have my rent money on me..."me: "But its for rent?"gem: "...lets go :)"my sister: "no corruption though lmao I'm a good girl"me: "we'll put you on the fruit shoots, okay?....boring :p"me: "I'm desperate, but not that desperate."charlie: "We are still on it for tonight yeah?"me: "Yes Yes!"charlie: "Corp and Xces?"me: "Idk if I'll have the money for both."charlie: "Don't worry about money, I am going to get us fucking wasted."me: "He's met his fucking match. :)"me: "believe me, mind numbing bullshit is my forte"me: "Other times they can be quite mentally scarring."me: "I am using the term "heterosexual" VERY loosely."me: "when Corporation vodka is a close relative of paint stripper I shouldn't even be surprised that my body is on strike today"me: "I said goodbye to Miss goody-two shoes, and hello to Miss shag me shoes and stockings"me: "It would make my day to enlighten you on the pure scale of how much of a fucktool you are."me: "and he decides to no longer be the trademark dickhead that he has been for 6 months."me: "I ended up sloshed off random guys money, which is always a massive plus."me: "Its safe to say I wrote "mug" on his forehead in lipstick, which he forgot about as he returned to his exes that evening."me: ""the swallow inn" - yeah i thought he was joking too, but it does indeed exist and it is most certainly not a brothel."me: "I umm....to put it nicely, had my toes munched on."me: "....Yeahhh I'm going to hell."jonny: ""diddums wi' t' truncheons here!"jonny: "Kei, there is no time machine!"jess: "I want to stab them....in the face"me: "which one?"jess: "ALL OF THEM!"jess: "you kinda look like myra hindley"me: "I look like I want to kidnap children and bury them on the moors?"jess: "well yeah... kind of"me: "YOU THINK you might need to get to know him? bird he knows your anal cavity better than you do, of course you need to get to know him"josh: " 'eres a fish...now fuck off"josh: "There's that, a fucking egg box, and a pillow shop"me: "love is a series of unreasonable and tolerable events"josh: "haters are like ninjas every one thinks there cool but at the end of the day.. they're asian and have no soul"Me: "we'll see if we can see any music when we get there."dean: "SEEING music kei, is much alot harder than it seems."josh: "Dial a Gobjob?"dec: "I'm going to stop drinking so quickly, I'm almost smashed already"*puts money away*me: "Are you sure? Just get a cordial?"dec: "No I'll stop"Barmaid: "Are you waiting to be served"dec: "Pint please love"*i laughed*dec: "As if you can even take that badly, i'm saying out of quite a few females, i would choose you to lock up and repeatedly rape...i would be flattered if someone said that to me. i mean seriously, about 3,000,000,000 women and you would be the one i lock up and rape?"me: "I proper hate being called a "bird""josh:" :') http://www.photographyblog.com/images/sized/images/uploads/PIGEON_2-550x367.jpg if anything thats is you as a bird on a scale of how epic you are haha."me:"i looked at it and said "what? plastic and massive?" :S hahahahhahajosh: lmfao :')"josh: "Why am i watching a woman suck off a dog?"lindsay: "That guys measuring a cat..."me: "So essentially I could end up screwing you for free?"me: "Why are they all non-fiction? :("myko: "Where's Wally is NOT non-fiction Keeley"me: "I'm like Storm from the X-Men... but not as fit, or with crazy eyes..."me: "That's it, I'm building a nest