Toilet humour

[Mikhael]

Restroom Poetry
The following are poems found inscribed in public restrooms
(fill in the blanks using your imagination):

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to ****
But only farted
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to ****
But I'm out of paper

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And **** my pants!
Some people come here to take a ****,
I came here to leave one.
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to **** and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bull**** on the walls...

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to **** out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away
(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.
(Seen above a urinal)
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!
(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

[jesus'_bright_red_pants]

Lol they're class! I always read stuff written on walls for some reason.

[Jessicar]

LOL. theyr cool

[~sexy_biatch~]

lol ther gud. yeah i always read stuff on walls aswel!
usually ther all bout dope lol

[Shane]

Here in sheffield we get to see pictures of weed and "Wankers Crew '05 was here biggin it up for the loo roll"....

[xXxI.Got.Them.Emo.EyesxXx]

The walls in the bathrooms here are intresting.

People have conversations...it's weird.

[richie_rich_rich18]

Down here in London (guv'nor lol) theres like "dis" crew as bin ere '05 or "name" is gay or sh*t like this written in the cubicles! lol.

[xxrachxx]

ol that was funny.. ye yas see things written all over

[timswfc]

very funny indeed

[Kirst_14]

Yeh, i'd love to read stuff like that in toilet, but we get things like blah loves blah and blah woz ere etc, extremely intellectual!

[Gun Nut]

I read something on the wall saying "meet me outside".......I still wait.

[Kirst_14]

I'm sure they'll be back soon.

[Riccardo]

I read something on the wall saying "meet me outside".......I still wait.

Erm...i wouldn't wait if i was you after all whos gonna be in the males toilets?

[Shane]

Erm...i wouldn't wait if i was you after all whos gonna be in the males toilets?

Good point!!!

[Mikhael]

hadnt thought of that one

[Kirst_14]

Well done, your thinking deeply today.

[Shane]

Saw one the other day that simply said: "I sat here!"

How much fun did that bloke have?!

[Kirst_14]

Lol, i like that one.

[teen_lad]

hmmmm...


I think the best ones have to eb the ones saying "Ring *********** for free sex and ask for *****" I may ring one someday and see if they are for real!!! Then tell the cops!

[jesus'_bright_red_pants]

I once saw one of those numbers in the park and it was my mate's number 286....