Need some advice

**Cashman** · January 9th '06

Hey guys I really need some advice to stand up for myself, I always get bullied at work by my friend, which is kind of retarded. hes a total prick to me at work, I wanna stand up for myself toward him please help me! also my girlfriend is getting very annoyed of hearing this from me every night I get off work, it's like I bring work with me everywhere, I need to stop I hate it. please I need help people I am 19 years old I need to be a man.

**Pearson** · January 9th '06

well be one then. Quit work if its ruining your social life. If you think you can deal with it then tell your so called mate to stop being a prick.

**Mikhael** · January 9th '06

Yeah well said pearson

Ignore him tell him to shut it, insult him , if he is ur friend he will stop if not ignore him and always make fun of him a good thing to do is is order a male striper for him when u no he has got his girl friend over

**LukeEv_17** · January 9th '06

yeah nice idea mate but you never know ur mate might enjoy a male striper lol

**Bob!** · January 9th '06

Well tbh uve got a few different options,

A: Go full on extrovert, stand up and challenge him back at whatever he feels he needs to challenge you for. Whatever it comes to, give him what uve got and show you've had enough and that you're going to stop it now, whatever it takes, whether its deckin the guy or just verbally getting the message through to him.

Just dont go the "Be scared of me cause i'm a crazy psycho" route, or the "Omg uve done too much, stop and give me sympathy or I might end up killing myself cause of what you've done" one cause that will just bring more harm unto yourself and make him want to do it all the more, both of those i've seen people use before and it just aint effective.

B: Tell someone senior about it, you have the right to work there without having to put up with that, or just avoid the guy. You could leave work as pearson said but I dont really reccomend that as if its a good job then you shouldn't ever have to quit because of someone being like that, or just use any other peaceful way you can to try and either get help, or get him to stop.
Also everytime he abuses you, you could give him some back in the same form, if its insults, insult him back or whatever.

C: (Which is mostly my way), If possible then just fook him off, if hes being like this then hes not worth you bothering with, especially if its having an impact on your social/personal life as well. If he starts with you, then ignore im, if he keeps goin, then just plainly say something like "Look, yer being a wanker and basically I couldn't give a toss about you at all, now piss off and waste your time somewhere that it might actually have an effect" and just walk off.
After that then just block him out, totally ignore, go about your own business and treat him for what he is, something not even worth bothering with or spending a single thought, and especially not worth feeling bad about.
Devote your time and thoughts to the people who are worth it positively, dont bother with the ones that arnt, just leave em to rot and be wankers if thats what they want to be, its them whose losing out in the end because of that, so dont let em put you lower by feeling bad as well.

So basically you can either:

Evade, just get out the way and try to solve it peacefully however you can.

Counter, anytime he starts on you, respond in likewise fashion, he might not like getting it back.

Go full on attack, by taking action and getting it stopped now, whatever it takes.

Or just defend, ignore him and let him waste his energy, realise that because of what he is and how hes acting, you're much better and stronger than him in such a way that nothing he does could have an effect on you. Make it so he's compared to nothing more than an inflatable hammer trying to smash down a wall of steel. A laughable attempt.

I normally use a mix of defend+counter, but in the end only you can decide what to do, but obviously something needs to be done or its just going to carry on. And if anything, think of it as you're doing it for your girlfriend, because then you've got an even bigger reason to get it sorted, and even more willpower to do it, and that will make things better for you, in all ways.

Oh and as a side note, dont ever refer to him as your "friend" because however long you've known each, or whatever aquantance you have with him, no "friend" would do anything like what he's doing.

**Pearson** · January 9th '06

Yer but bobo cashmans clearly weak and feeble other wise the kid wunt be teasing him, so hes not just gan stand up to him.

**Bob!** · January 9th '06

And the only way to stop it is to stop thinkin o bein "weak and feeble" lol, if nothins done then itl hurt his job, personal life, an everythin else as it already is.

If he knows his options, he can decide what to do.

Even if it doesent work, if you've tried with gutso, as in put your heart into it and really gave it a go, done everythin you can to try and achieve a better life for your girlfriend and yourself, well thats manly enough.

**OMGLIFESUX+1** · January 20th '06

You fucking pussy. Even your girlfriend is tired of hearing you piss and moan. For a 19 year old male you sure do sound like a 12 year old girl "Oh he is bullying me, Make him stop Wah Wah Wah". Grow a fucking dick

**Bob!** · January 20th '06

1. Don't just come bargin in and start throwin insults about, or ill start throwing YOU about.

2. This is the advice forum, people come here for advice and help, which is what he is doing, he's trying to find a way to stop his problem.

If ya gunna come in this part of the forum in future, make sure you shut the fuck up, respect others views and problems, and be productive without being a nobber about it.

I have 0% tolerance of people putting others down in here, remember that.

**OMGLIFESUX+1** · January 21st '06

I gave him some advice, and that advice was to grow a set of testicles

**Azaghal** · January 21st '06

He does appear to be a gigantic pussy.

This is not the reaper, this is Azaghal BTW.

**Patriot1776** · January 21st '06

Neither of you are helping by calling him a pussy.

(This is the MOD of this forum by the way)

I wish I could help more, but in reality it is difficult to give advice on how to stand up, that is usually just something that happens.

Whenever I usually stand up I keep using the term, "what are you going to do about it?" that usually gets people to back down.

Basically, act like you are willing to fight without actually looking for a fight.

If things get out of hand always defend yourself, don't retaliate by going on the offensive.

**Bob!** · January 21st '06

Azaghal wrote:

He does appear to be a gigantic pussy.

This is not the reaper, this is Azaghal BTW.

Less negative comments, and more help on how to deal with the problem.

Also its one account per person so pm me if you want me to reset reapers password.

**iaxa** · February 15th '06

i would stand up for my self but dont become the bulling okay. 9 out of 10 pplz who are being bulled become a bully later ( well thats what it is in australia). on or just quit but dont quit untill you find another job.

this is coming from a victim but i stood up for myself i couldnt handle it so i told them off but dont let him control your life okay.

hang in there