Rules dat Guys wish Gals knew...

SnowAngel · August 2nd '05

Sb sent me dis...I was wonderin if it's true...n it IS written by a guy mind u...

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
11. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
12. Crying is blackmail.
13. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
14. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
15. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
16. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
17. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
18. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
19. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
20. Check your oil. Please.
21. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
22. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
24. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
25. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
26. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done--not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
27. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
28. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
29. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.
30. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends - like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better.
31. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a colour.Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
32. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
33. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
34. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
35. What is Dolly?

*dis is not meant 2 b sexist...plz dun get da wrong idea..*

MathewS · August 2nd '05

It would be easier to read in one colour, BLACK.

And i heard most of those on a better rules list.

Entice · August 2nd '05

Lol, funny.

Ice · August 2nd '05

quite funny... nice one m8

Kos · August 2nd '05

SnowAngel wrote:

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

People who worry if they are fat are not worth anyone's time.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

I find girls with short hair to be much more attractive, personally.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

Good, as I rarely get presents for anyone to begin with.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

Considering how much it annoys me when someone asks, "What are you thinking?" ...

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

It's more an annoying waste of time. Kind of like many sports...

11. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

Indeed, I have enough. That happens to be why I refuse to go clothes shopping more than once a year. [Well, actually it's because I hate shopping and clothing stores, but...] And yes, a pair of boots and a pair of sandals = too many.

13. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

Nonexistant people are always idiots.

16. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

I only own two. I win.

18. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Good thing I'm queer.

31. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a colour.Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

A male artist or synesthete would argue against that to the death.

35. What is Dolly?

A cloned sheep.

*dis is not meant 2 b sexist...plz dun get da wrong idea..*

Don't worry, it was more heterocentrist and not informed that people can exist outside of the norm.

Drunk_druid · August 2nd '05

lmao kos that was brilliant!! Most of the stuff snowangel said works in general but most of it dont work wit me :-/ o well i am quite weird lol

*fender.chiq* · August 2nd '05

Ahh, but the "What are you thinking about?" one closely resembles the "Why are you staring at me like that?" one.. I swear, when boyfriends just stare at your face for no real reason, and you ask them what the hell they're doing.. Then they grin and say "Nothing!" and either avert thrit eyes or carry on. A) What do they think we are? Stupid? , B) Why do they have to stare. They say it's rude.. and C) Why answer nothing to a question when it's blatantly obvious something's going through their minds.

MathewS · August 2nd '05

*fender.chiq* wrote:

Ahh, but the "What are you thinking about?" one closely resembles the "Why are you staring at me like that?" one.. I swear, when boyfriends just stare at your face for no real reason, and you ask them what the hell they're doing.. Then they grin and say "Nothing!" and either avert thrit eyes or carry on. A) What do they think we are? Stupid? , B) Why do they have to stare. They say it's rude.. and C) Why answer nothing to a question when it's blatantly obvious something's going through their minds.

Most likely its because the person in question is so fucking hot they dont want to stare at anything else.

IceBurn3000 · August 3rd '05

Oh my god... I am currently in a massive debate with a friend of mine on my website on the same bunch of rules. If you want to see whats going on there click here.

Peaceout,

Drunk_druid · August 4th '05

its cos we know you wont like the answer and ye the person is probs so pretty its impossible to look away...

Mamfy · August 5th '05

aww how cute you all are

Queen Shaqua · September 18th '05

They're just acting sweet...I'd hate to think what the real reason would be...*darts suspicious glances*

Stephanie · September 22nd '05

*fender.chiq* wrote:

Ahh, but the "What are you thinking about?" one closely resembles the "Why are you staring at me like that?" one.. I swear, when boyfriends just stare at your face for no real reason, and you ask them what the hell they're doing.. Then they grin and say "Nothing!" and either avert thrit eyes or carry on. A) What do they think we are? Stupid? , B) Why do they have to stare. They say it's rude.. and C) Why answer nothing to a question when it's blatantly obvious something's going through their minds.

It's better then if they were staring at your boobs! It's much more sweet I reckon if they're looking into your eyes!

<^>Mikey<^> · September 23rd '05

i only really agree to two of them on the list.

SnowAngel wrote:

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

it annoys me when girls complain about that. its not that hard to put it down! lol

SnowAngel wrote:

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

and yeah...bit annoying when girls take a long time to get ready and then you end up missing the movie. but most of the time it was worth the wait and missing the movie.

SnowAngel wrote:

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

dont agree with this one though. some girls look really attractive with short hair...dont know what this bloke was on about!