Odd situation...

[Thursday]

First off Im hesitant to even ask questions here, b/c I shouldnt need advice... here's the story and the answer to why I shouldnt need advice.

I dated this girl, Steph about 4 or 5 times for 2 years, started in 10th grade now Im in 12th. She's in 10th grade now.

Anyways, now we're both totally commited and are trying so hard to make it work. We've been dating for 2.5months now, it will be 3 on Oct. 15, and I've been trying very hard to make her happy, I bought her flowers for her 15th birthday when we werent dating, then I bought ehr roses again for our 1 month, then 2 roses after I messed up and lied to her about a girl i used to be with, then I bought her a necklace for our 2 month, and just recently I bought her 3 roses just to show her that I like her so much. I try to be the kindest guy out there and try to do things out of the ordinary to show that I care and how Im not the sexxed up a-hole that I used to be.

Basically I'm just confused about several things... (1. How long will it last? I know there's no real answer, but it scares me because I want to spend the rest of my life with her... I could honestly see myself doing that b/c she's my best friend in the world and I can confide in her so much. (2. Myself... sometimes I have difficulty accepting the reality that I am falling in love with her, I dont love her yet, but Im sure Im on that road... which begs the 3rd question... when does one know when they are honestly in love? I tell her everyday that I "luv" her, either by joking around and saying I heart her or in our notes I always draw a heart between I and you. I just want to tell her something everytime I say good-bye, but I know I dont love her so I dont want to say that I do, but what the hell is this that Im feeling? Infatuation? I hope it isn't...

Myself being a consistent pessimist doesnt help matters much. Shes an honest-to-God optimist, it's incredible how she looks at life with the most positive outlook, every time I have a derogatory thought and of course I share it with her, she has a remedy for it. I dont know what it is, but this girl means so much to me, she's changed me so much, I get A's now b/c of her, I quit drinking and doing drugs for her (she finds it gross and weak), Im not as ignorant as I used to be, and Im more in touch with myself. Ive stopped doubting our relationship, and started accepting the fact that this will work between her and I, so why do I question so many thoughts?

Our relationship has already been challenged so much, she WAS dating her best friend, yes a girl, for 4 years and never broke up, she just broke up with her about 2 weeks ago b/c she said she confides in me more and since we've been dating she hasnt liked her since and I dont give her crap or make her feel bad...she says Im more of a friend to her then she is. She cheated on me twice with her, but right after she told me she broke up with her, I immediately forgave her... was it b/c I was too scared to leave her? Or is it b/c I can forgive her b/c people make mistakes and I know that I couldnt leave her, I can't hurt her again, and I dont want to hurt myself. She honestly expected me to break up with her after notifying me of this...

I just dont know what I should expect out of this relationship, I've never been in a relationship this serious and it frightens me at some point. Honestly sometimes I feel that I'm "obsessed" with her... hell I get up at 4am for the past week now and on just so I can fall asleep and wake up next to her... her parents go to work at 11:30 at night and my mom leaves at 3:30am, otherwise I would go earlier.

I cant stand being away from her, it's insane. After an hour of not seeing her, usually Im upset from missing her. Even when Im at her house in the morning and am supposed to fall asleep, I can't. I usually go to sleep an hour after I get there because I cant sleep due to the fact that I think about her. I dont want to miss a moment of her presence, she's so beautiful in so many ways that I've never experienced, inside and out, she's the most beautiful girl to me. A lot of things I've told her about what I feel, but nothing like this. I dont want to scare her off... Im afraid of so many things that could happen between her and I, but really, should I be? I should probally tell her everything that I've said here... I can't stand not being honest with her. It's just so hard to not think about her, especially in this time being Autumn when we first dated Im always reminded of that. I look at the leaves and I am actually reminded of her. Is this a bad thing to think about a girl so often?

Sometimes it just seems that I put all the affection towards our relationship b/c I seem to be doing the crazy or unordinary things to prove my affection... I don't know, sorry for the long ramble, Im just another lost and confused teenager.

Thanks.

[Mamfy]

Wow I don't know where to start really, But from what you have said and what I have gathered, you would do just about anything for her, you like her so much you dream of spending your life with her. Hell you even quit drugs and drinking for her! That shows some love! I don't know many people who would do that for anyone else but it shows to me that she is worth it and she is one hell of a girl!

Firstly, I think you are feeling so much for her because you know her so well, yo have been through the ups and the downs of a relationship and a friendship therefore know what its like and what goes on.

By giving her things you are being affectionate, but just remember that money can't BUY you love. Sometimes the smallest things are the best because they come from the heart. Like, they don't have to be materialistic items, they could be personal, and that would be just as special as buying her jewellery.

You said she dated her best friend who was a girl, does that make her bi? Because she likes you too? Just a question, sorry if I'm wrong I'm just trying to understand.

ALso, I have been in your position but the guy was like you. He did everything for me, couldn't stop thinking about me, buying me things, coming to see me everyday and it didn't put me off. But just be careful of showing her too much of yourself in such a short time. By telling her so soon that you want to marry her and die with her and miss her the second you walk out her door might worry her, because she might think that she can't keep up, or to keep you happy she would have to have the same feelings as you.

Just try to keep a little back and let her do these sorts of things too. Saying things to her like you miss her and you just want to hold her every hour of everyday will show how much she means to you. She obviously has touched you seeing as you do virtually anything for her! Plus, when you forgived her that was quite a good thing, but don't let her think that everytime she does something wrong you will forgive her with a click of a finger because that means theres no discipline and then she might go and do it again. let her know that you un derstand why she might have done it, say you forgive her but tell her you don't want her doing it again.

I hope it works out for you, because I am sure that you will be perfect together.

[Thursday]

Yah that makes her bi... but she basically hates her best friend now, they yell at eachother every day, my g/f actually can't even stand being with her sometimes b/c the arguing get's to be too much.

Im trying not to show so much affection towards her. It just seems I like her more than she likes me, but how do I find out for sure? I've talked to her about that and she says she likes me more than I her. Which is the expected answer, but it seems that I show more affection... like, well these may seem superficial or immature, but it's like in our written notes, I always draw hearts and stuff on them, I always am assuring her that I like her so much and that she makes me so happy, and I dont know, I seem to be like the "wimpy girl who's obsessed with someone." lol If that makes any sense.

Maybe Im just blindsided of how much she likes me by how much I like her. Perhaps for one day I should show no affection and see what happens??? I dont know, I just dont want her to think Im creepy b/c I express my feelings for her.

Thanks for your advice.

[Patriot1776]

I think most people go through this when falling in love. I went through this myself. This is probably the easiest area to mess up in. Often we ask our friends what to do when in reality that is probably the last thing to do.

I may sound a bit typical,but just do whatever you feel is right. It probably is the correct path. I had a hard time accepting this myself,but after awhile I began to understand. If you truly love each other it will actually bwe easier than it sounds.

Just go with the flow and be prepared to run into obstacles. It 9is those obstacles that will prove whether you love her or not.